Social Phobia: The Life of an Introverted Teenager. ♀

Time to move on...

2011-01-03T18:34:00.003-06:00

hey,

Well uh...I'm single.

He broke up with me for another girl.

I guess it's just as well. I don't know.

anyways, um......♥

yeah, thats all I got to say for now. bye :/

DOMO ARIGOTO MR. ROBOTO! =D

enjoy that and whatnot :)

yay! XD

2010-12-28T08:47:00.002-06:00

hello,

I'm dancing around like a dork as I listen to my mp3 player. I'm so happy today that it's just bursting out of me like fireworks. I couldn't keep it in even if I wanted to. I bet you're wondering why, huh?

Today I get to hang with my baby ♥ =D

I can't wait! ^_^

he's over at Chris' and Derita's house :)

i'm about to take a quick COLD shower [to wake me up] and head over there.

I gotta say, when I move, ima miss this place A lot. but, the show must go on. I'll meet more people [hopefully] and gain more friends. Ima miss being 6 doors down from Derita :( esp. since Brittany is in Florida with Gavin :'(

oh well, I can do this.

Allias will visit me and Derita will sleep over like every other week (hopefully)

so....yeah. ttyl!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

I haven't been on here in FOREVER...UpDaTe!!!!....I'M BACK =D [for real] i miss this place

2010-10-30T03:23:00.013-05:00

[I'M SO GLAD TO BE BACK]

Hello my lovely Friends,

I am so sorry I have not written on here in what seems like ages.
Let's get back to things! Let me let you know what's been going on.(this may take a while)
Well as I look back, the last time I wrote a post was in April; telling you that I will start back up in May. I'm sorry about that, but those plans had fallen through. I couldn't get the cell phone because it was too much in demand and the didn't have any left. :(
But no worries! I'M BACK! =D
Let's see...what have you all missed?....hmmm....oh! now I remember.
When I broke down in front of Melanie so Tinkerbell could stay; it was so relieving to get my baby back. After we had lived in that apt for about 4 months; we had moved. into the same apt complex. Just downstairs, to the handicapped apt. We've lived here for about 6 months and now we want to LEAVE. We can no longer stand it here. Too much drama from Melonie and the other tenants. So currently we're going to be moving

Before that; I met my BFFL; Derita. She is awesome. The first time we met, i thought she was weird and not right in the head. Then I decided to go outside with my brother and sister while they were playing basket ball. They insisted that I join. So I started playing ball, when out of no where; people I didn't know would come and join on the basketball court. One of those people was her brother; Chris. We became friends with him more and more as we went outside each and every single day at 4:30 PM to play basketball with him and his friends. At first, he scared me because I don't like people. But after a while, he didn't. One day I walked into his apt (he lives in the same apt complex as us)and there that weird, crazy girl was; Derita. as time went on, the more we'd go in his house for drinks after we were done playing. Me and Derita would exchange our hello's and goodbye's. But that was all. eventually we got closer. (after about 2 months) and went through thick and thin with each other. And now, we call each other "besties" she is my best friend and I love her as if she were my little sister. (she's a year younger than me)

After that, My best friend who I had a falling out with contacted me after 3 years of not speaking to one another. We talked and talked and talked until there was nothing left to say. I've learned to forgive more and I realized Change is possible. Just not a lot of people strive for it. She changed into a better person. Leaving behind all the immaturity of a 17 year old, and wearing the maturity that a 20 year old should have. We are best friends again. Hopefully, Nothing ruins us again.

My sister, Brittany is now 19 and engaged to her high school lover. I think It's a huge mistake and I hate to see her walk in my mother's very same footsteps when she was young and in love with my father. Brittany's fiancées name is Gavin. Brittany moved in with him and they now reside in FL where they first met.

My brother, Justin has been ok...I guess.

Over all, I'm just trying to focus on me and what i'm doing instead of everyone else because i can't fix what they do wrong or control them. Even if I love them, I have to let go of the care i have for them and let them make their mistakes. I hate the fact that I have to just sit and watch. But, that's how things go.

Anyway, I now have 4 best friends. Brittany,Derita,Nora, and Cassie and I love them all.

Cookie moved away with Brittany and Gavin, Which sux cuz I really grew to love that kitty. We still have Frida and Tinkerbell [my tiny dancer♥] and we also have a bunny, his name is Gerard AKA bunnyman. He's very sweet and loving and I adore him. here's a lovely photo of him.

isn't he adorable?! ^_^

...ummm... I have quite a lot of new nicknames people have given me, like {pOpRoXx, Toxxic Roxxie, Ms.FOXY, Moxy Roxxie, Moxxie Bear, etc.} and I love every one of them. I'm now a photographer (click for my website) I'm now 16 years old, soon to be 17 so I had to change the title...and the background.

I'm in love with this special guy named Allias. He's amazing in ever single way =) ♥♥♥

anyways um, I guess that's it for now...but im on here for good now. I'll even be texting my posts from my cell, so get ready loves, I'm back XD

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

UPDATE!

2010-04-27T11:18:00.000-05:00

I will be blogging regularly on the 1st or 2nd of May. my mother is getting me a HTC touch pro 2 and i will use that because my laptop is still broken :(
Look for more of my blog posts starting May 1st or 2nd. I'm excited to be back home. I tried to go to tumblr.com instead, but i didn' t like it. This blogging site is much more customizable. Plus, i wouldn't want to just leave everyone. So, anyway, just keep your eyes open O_O
I'll be back.

UPDATE

2010-04-27T10:25:00.004-05:00

Hello loves!
Sorry i've been gone. I have new updates that i am SO excited to tell you all about.
We are moving, still in the same apartment complex but in a 2 bedroom apt. it is beautiful and i cannot wait to get in! My kitty is doing great, although she goes into heat a lot but we are going to spay her.
Another thing is, I'm into photography A LOT. I'm working on making a website for my photography art. more updates later! :D

2010-03-27T00:05:00.000-05:00

I will be back. I promise.
I've been terribly busy. Sorry :)
Talk to everyone soon, I love you guys!

-Yours Truly, Roxxie

2009-12-07T19:48:00.003-06:00

The word "happy" can't even begin to describe how I feel!

Shinzui, Put the chainsaw away. My baby is here to stay!

I talked to the manager of this apartment place and i broke down in front of her when I asked her if she could make an exception. SHE SAID TINKERBELL CAN STAY!

can you believe it? I can't.

She said that it would be just between us.

I'll give you the details later

Prepare Yourselves...

2009-12-01T17:55:00.007-06:00

Well, I'm not very happy so get ready for a sad post about the predicament me and my daughter Tinkerbell are in. (were in.)

You all know about my baby.

In my last post I said that I wanted to make sure what happens before I post like this.

Well I found out.

Tinkerbell cannot live with us.

Our new apartment comes with some sacrifice.

They only allow 1 pet. The pet who has been with us the longest is the one who gets to stay.

so in which case, that would be our chihuahua, Frida.

We've had this gorgeous dog for 7 years

We've had Tinkerbell for 3 years (since she was born)

and we've had Cookie AKA Oreo for a little over a year.

Tinkerbell and Cookie have to move away.

you hear me?

I'm losing my daughter!!!!
We are hoping that someone from our kingdom hall will take her so I can at least visit her.

That kitty is WAY more than a kitty. She is my best friend.

Cats never cling to me. They always cling to my sister.

When Tinkerbell was born out of brittany's old cat Babygirl, I didn't think much of her because I thought she was just going to cling to Brittany like they always do

Instead; she clung to me.

I finally had my kitty.

I'm sad that I have to let her go but sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to do (I blame whoever made that rule!)

The apartment feels so empty without 2 kitties running around and meowing.

I have lost so many of my interests. I don't know why.

It seems like whats the point. Nothing lasts forever.

Tinkerbell started out as a cat that i didn't take any interest in and became the best cat in the history and future of cats. No other cat can be like her. She was a one in a million.

Right now I'm trying not to focus on her because I know that it will make me depressed.

Crying and hoping is not going to change the situation. It's just going to make it harder to get through it.

But still, I find myself crying a lot. I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I just can't.

It hurts so much to lose someone else. First my father, then my Grandmother and now my best friend.

(who are you to judge me?!)

I have nothing to preoccupy myself from the pain of letting her go.

I took a video of her and cookie eating tuna and in the background there's "Don't let me go"

by The Frey playing. It tears me apart that that day i filmed it. I had no idea what the future was going to bring.

I still can't quite believe that she is no longer mine. It's the process that I did when my grandmother passed away. Only, I can't make any excuses. I hate it.

But, i have to say goodbye and hopefully Tinkerbell will know that I am not abandoning her. Hopefully she will realize that i would never do such a thing like that to her.

anyways, Now you all know why I haven't been on as much as i used to.

All there is to write about is sad news and I really don't want to depress anyone.

I'll be back online in a while but i'm not leaving for good.

Probably 2 weeks or so.

Bye

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

A quick little heads up for everyone

2009-11-26T20:53:00.002-06:00

Well My big computer is on the fritz and my little one is having a hard time picking up some decent wi-fi so that means I can't get pictures on here until i can find a better spot for wi-fi or get my big computer fixed.

I love our apartment. It reminds me of an art gallery and my room reminds me of a ballet studio. It's gorgeous because the walls are so tall and the windows are huge and tall and the window sills are also tall. It's got hardwood floors, Cherrywood cabinets in the kitchen, and the actual apartment is only a year old so it's practically new!
the doorways are big enough for my mom to be able to get her scooter through (no more scratching the walls, lol)
A LOT is going on with my daughter, Tinkerbell.
I'm not going to say what because I want to know what will happen first.
anyway, I just came home from my meeting and i'm hungry so I'm going to go eat and get comfy and work on my book so bye everyone.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Is this weird?

2009-11-05T15:21:00.003-06:00

I find it to be very "odd"....The School apartments I am living in has no pictures on google or anywhere else for that matter.

I wanted to research what it used to look like back before my grandmother was born but it's so strange, I can't find any pictures, historicl information, videos, etc.
I can't even find pictures of it now!....This feels like some Twilight Zone episode I saw a while back.

I will be sure to be the first person to place pictures of this place on the "world wide web"

later though.
Love you all!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

IT'S HISTORICAL!

2009-11-04T16:07:00.003-06:00

That's right ladies and Gentleman!

oh wait you don't know what i mean do you?

...

Well, we have moved and that is why it has taken me so long to post, we moved to a historical elementary school (I'll take pictures of it's beauty soon)

This place is older than my grandmother!

but they modernized it. but it still has it's elementary school essence.

this place is 3 stories high and it has a stage room where the auditorium was back in the day that they have made into a hangout spot. They have a radio with huge speakers so we can listen to music and if we reserve a party, they will let us have it for a while to throw a party. Also, my confidence is so much better. I feel as though I am walking on sunshine :)

Don't forget about me loves!
I haven't forgotten you.

I will post more WITH PICTURES when I can.
bye!
~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Things you 'May' not know about me.

2009-10-20T12:31:00.003-05:00

My Parents name's are: Gina & Darrin
My middle name is 'Helen'
26 & 6 are my favorite numbers
I have Mohawk Indian in me (dad's side)
I love doll houses
I love miniature things (books, food, etc.)
My sister, Brittany is 18 and My brother, Justin is 20
I'm obsessed with photography art
I used to want to be a photographer until I realized how bad I was at it (it's still a dream)
I like wearing deep red lipstick
I have never had a boyfriend
croc shoes bother me
I LOVE wearing high-heels including high-heeled boots
I LOVE mary jane shoes & also Converse
I love multi-colored neon things
I love to watch a variety of shows (iCarly, Heroes, Family Guy, Sonny With A Chance, One Tree Hill, House, Hells Kitchen, etc.)
I am terrible at sports. It's embarrassing to be so bad. Brittany is really good at basketball (my favorite sport) so I'm envious of that.
I get embarrassed easy
I can't take criticism.
I have a crush on Gordon Ramsay.
I am very competitive.
I am my own worst critic
I like to wear my hair in all the styles I can do with it (I tried Misa's from Death Note, it rocked)
I'm obsessed with cell phones
I play Halo, but i suck very badly, i only kill like 9 people per game
I'm good at Space Invaders
the only arcade game that I'm good at is air hockey. (Dance Revolution in my dreams)
I LOVE to clean
I LOVE decorating
I like baby dolls
porcelain clowns scare me
garden gnomes scare me more than needles (no, they're probably equal)
I used to be scared of IT
the word 'good' annoys me when i read it
my favorite letters are Z, R, Q, X
I HATE Miley Cyrus
I dislike Twilight
I loved Kristen Stewart in Panic Room (she needs to stick to movies like that. Not Twilight)
I'm against anarchy but i completely see why people follow it
I think laws need to exist, i just wish people would keep up with them. (think if we didn't have laws, think of the violence, think of the greed...the world would be a MUCH BIGGER mess)
I wish I could read everyone's mind
all the physical fights I've ever been in, I've lost.
I want to dye my hair a deep red or black
I like action figures but I'm embarrassed to tell people that.
When i was 7 years old I saw a demon scaring my baby cousin disguised as her toy bear.
I've had a near death experience
I've seen someone after they died (my Great-Grandmother) it was scary
I'm afraid of elevators
i took classes to play guitar and my teacher said i was the best (that made me so happy)
I'm over paranoid
I cry when I'm alone in cars
I'm scared to wear big sun glasses because i feel everyone will think that i think i'm better than them because that is the feeling i get when i see girls wear big sun glasses (something I'm currently trying to over-come)
I wish I had a female Great Dane who i would name Rooby Doo (I used to be obsessed with scooby doo)
I get nostalgic when i watch MCR's Life On The Murder Scene (don't ask why, because I have no idea)
In Malcolm in The Middle, i'm a mixture of Malcolm and Dewie. (LOL)

I will edit this later to add more ^_-

*TO BE CONTINUED

Impossible to Understand.

2009-10-18T22:39:00.005-05:00

Everything that is going on in my life is far too personal to put here for the privacy of my family and me.

Right now we are going through thick instead of thin and I really hope Jehovah helps us out of this.

Anyway, I have been way too stressed out to make a video blog or go see the guy who looks like L and take a video and pics of him. (don't worry, he knows. I'm not that freaky......or AM I?)

I'm sorry. I hope things will turn for the better.

I just wanted to let you all know that that is why I have not put up anything i said i would

Roxxie will be back to 'normal' soon ^_-

love you all!

I'll be back when I'm not so stressed.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

He Looks Like L Lawliet!

2009-10-17T14:56:00.003-05:00

That's right!

at our recreational center there is a 15 year old who looks like a black version of Ken'ichi Matsuyama.(actor who plays L in Death Note) I'm serious, i couldn't stop staring at the guy. He has the pouty lips, unique eyes, you have to see him. I'll get a video of him later and attach it here (so come back to this same post, it WILL be edited.) (pictures don't do COMPLETE justice)

also, I may make the video today but it might be on tomorrow. I will try to make it tonight :)

love you guys!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

It's all the Hype.

2009-10-16T19:46:00.001-05:00

ever watched the movie "Knocked Up"?

Everyone claims that was, i quote "The BEST movie Ever!"

LIARS!

it sucked, it had it's funny moments but it was a waste of my time.

ugh! stupid lame advertisers with your stupid propaganda..

NEVER BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(contrary to the famous saying "Believe the hype")

Anyway, I'm done with my (I'm about to make up a word) "Pissosety".

My father sent me batteries so my next post will probably be a video blog. I may even do it today (no probably not today, I don't feel like getting all dolled up.) LOL so yay to that.

I've rode the bus so MANY times now, I'm so proud of myself, although i could never do it without my mother, i still went on and overcame the whole fear of it.

I still have a lot to overcome and i hate when i can't power over it and i end up pushing myself too much and i have break downs. I hate that.

I have complete writer's block. I want to take it over the edge, but not so over the edge that it falls and crashes.

I have been drawing A LOT lately and creating lyrics. Poetry hasn't really been there for me lately. It saddens me.

I'm still reading "Poison Study" and I must say Maria V. Snyder is my inspiration for my novel, she is my role model, also Neil Gaiman.

She is so amazing. I love her format of words chosen so carefully. She is very talented and I'm so glad I've found her book. I'm almost done with it too

anyway today it isn't raining so I'm not being as lazy.

Peace Out and keep Ambitions Strong!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Rainy Days = Complete Laziness

2009-10-15T14:37:00.003-05:00

It has been raining ALL WEEK.

It's killing my happiness. It's making me shell up.

I used to love the rain and I still do because it's beautiful, it helps the earth and our food suply (crops & Flowers) and it also gives the excuse for a lazy day. A day to sit back, draw, go on the computer, watch TV, etc.

Just to make your day your own in your own home through your own laziness.

I do hate when I HAVE to go somewhere when it's raining. It really kills my mood of happiness and leaves me with a crouchy, lazy, snappy mood. i just hate that SO much.

anyway, I LOVE the show "Modern Family"

It is so funny and realistic. My Mom and brother say that the boy (manny) reminds them of me. I can see that. I'm not your 'normal' kid.

anyway, just watch the show when you get a chance, okay?

It's interesting.

"The Weak Ones Lose The Fight."

2009-10-11T12:46:00.006-05:00

That quote contradicts itself.

We are all weak.

I believe Everyone can get up and fight till the end or fall to their death. There is no Weak or Strong.

We all can break. We are all weak, Some p

resent themselves as Strong, but we all have one thing in common; WE ARE IMPERFECT.

Don't get me wrong, we have our weak and strong moments, but we all are weak.

If an arrogant jerk tries to beat you down, just remember you're not the only weak one with a weakness.

For example: If A school bully comes up to you and pushes you on the ground. Instead of crying and letting them break you, You need to see them as yourself, they have a weakness. They are not superhuman. They are just like you. They may have strength in violence

. but not in mind. not in confidence. Violence makes them feel big because by beating you up, they make you look small.

You may view it as; They are the lion and you are a house cat. But that is where you're wrong. You are a lion. You have to find it. You have to dig inside yourself to find it. You need to open your eyes to see that everyone is the same. We are All Weak. find their weakness and use it. Show them that You have the strength in a different way to make them look small. Show them that you're not to be messed with. whether you use Your Mind[reverse psychology.], What they are self conscience of, What YOUR strength is.

Just Remember This:

Violence will get you Nowhere. There is Always another way.

I wish I would have realized this when I was in school.

but i want you all to know this. OPEN YOUR EYES TO REALITY.

Weird things keep creeping into my head when least expected.

2009-10-10T01:38:00.016-05:00

Me and Gerard are alike but also not. I like it that way.

Gerard is a fan of SAW, seriously, i only liked the 1st one. But you know, Gerard is into all the gorey stuff, I'm more into Suspense. Gore bothers me. we also like the creating part of things.

Moving On...

My post for today is going to be about: My Dream Last Night, My Past, and My inspiration; Gerard Arthur Way, you may know him from a band called My Chemical Romance or a comic book The Umbrella Academy (he's the writer). He's a VERY wise man, and before I figured out his personality I used to like him for his voice and looks (A Crush) until one day I thought about how shallow it was to not look up what he as a person is about. I found myself going insane with the facts i had learned. My crush became deeper so deep that even if he was ugly I would still be crazy over him. He also inspires me though, He now has a wife (Lyn-Z) and she is amazing too, he also has a baby girl (Bandit Lee Way). I love them all. I'm so happy he found the woman he loves that he wanted to create a family with. This man is so interesting. He's a HUGE geek, He's so intelligent and he has so much charisma. Most people judge him badly maybe as 'emo' at first because My Chemical Romance got lumped together with bands considered 'emo'. When i first saw him, i didn't think he was emo, i could tell he wasn't but i did judge him as 'odd' he seemed very different than your average band guys, I also liked the fact that he dressed in interesting things, not tight skinny pants and tight shirts with weird hair styles. I knew he was unique i just didn't think to look up things about him for about a month. I just looked up their music.The thing is; The man is completely different than emo. He is emotional. But not in that way. He is Deep. He is my dream man. Emotional like The Cure, not the kind where it's like "oh my god, i hate myself so much and life itself. I want to kill myself." he is a deep individual. He teaches people to rise above the crap they have going on. Not stay with it. I'm really glad a man like him exists. He is more than what people make him out to be. When I was 13 he helped me embrace being unique and friendless. He seems to be doing this a lot. Whenever I'm feeling down I try to go listen to Their music and the inspirational lyrics to the wonderful music to lift me up. I got through A Lot of dark thoughts. I never thought there would be a time where I could get so bad, being a loner had never bothered me until i sunk my head into the TV to realize that you're supposed to have friends and that it's not a good thing to not have them. Yes, The media has screwed with my mind, unfortunately. Before i had discovered stereotypical shows on TV i was a happy young pre teen who got by society by not focusing on her imperfections. Now I'm this girl who judges herself 24/7 and is always talking down on herself. i miss the little me. I had confidence in my little innocent mind living in a world of ignorance with people who just happen to be mean for no apparent reason. My Chemical Romance's music has helped whether you believe me or not. I have no need to fake nor lie. i would say if they didn't inspire me if it were true. but it's not. I'm still in the process of figuring myself out. But I am confident that i will come out loving myself for who i am and not focusing on my peers. Gerard had similar middle school experiences like me only with him, he was once accepted but didn't accept them. he did his own thing (like me) but his own thing became "cool" and he became "cool" but he ignored their love because he knew it was bull. You all are going to be disappointed in me when you read this next part. There was a moment of weakness when i became a fake. For one school day i became the very people i hate. I wanted to get the experience of having good times in middle school so i came to school with a different fake attitude and pink clothing all over. I was liked. People learned my name, it was great! they sat next to me, talked to me, I finally felt loved by everyone but myself. I HATED MYSELF. I got taken over by their taunting remarks. The many feet that would trip me to the floor and the mouths that would laugh, the classic finger pointing. I wanted to take their fingers and twist them till they're broken, i wanted to pull a Joker move and cut their cheeks so they're always smiling. I wanted to break their legs and hit them with them. (my daydreams were VERY violent) Those kids never realize how all that "banter" can really effect a child growing up. They don't realize or they just Don't Care. After I hated myself because of that act, i came back the next day myself and cried the whole day because i was back to be the freaky loner. While about to go on the bus kids came up to me propositioning me for a fight. Lucky the bus driver got out and called them off. She'll never know how much i appreciated that. Gerard went through a phase where he tried to be someone he's not but then he went back also and stayed that way. It feels good to know i did the right thing by going back to myself and dealing with the daily jerks. I believe i was once a strong person, i feel i have let my child self down. i had a dream yesterday of me and me as a 6 year old in a dress, and she (the little girl version of me) looked at me and cried and kept saying that she hated me, she then picked up a typewriter off the smoky floor of a black nowhere and tried to throw it at me but it was too heavy for her, she fell to the floor having her back facing me and began to bawl and kept screaming "GO AWAY!!!" i went up to her and touched her back, she got up and i turned her around, she had a bunch of words on her, sayings, quotes, things i was called through-out my life, I looked closer to see lacerations on her shoulders, neck, hands and outer arms i looked around and the background changed from a smoky nowhere to a classroom full of dead children, she looked up at me and held up a knife "You're next." she whispered while smiling. i woke up and began to try to think of Gerard's inspirational words. Then i cleared my mind and because i was still tired i began to sleep again and it was the same dream. I forgot to yell for Jehovah to take me out of it and out of nowhere Gerard appeared from the smoke in my dream next to the little girl version me as i watched. She stared me down and fell to the floor again crying as Gerard bent down on one knee and picked her up in his arms then walked into the classroom and all the kids became alive and went back to their seats as did she and i saw her daydreaming on her desk as Gerard became her teacher trying to get her to come back to reality. She awoke from a deep daydream as I awoke from the whole thing. I think that was the creepiest, deepest dream i have ever had and I'm a bit frightened to go to sleep tonight. Gerard's sweet words will keep me company. i need to "Think Happy Thoughts."

"Never forget how beautiful you are."

— Gerard Way

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person. "

— Gerard Way

"I’ve gotta get out of the basement. I’ve gotta see the world. I’ve gotta make a difference"

— Gerard Way

"no matter how ugly the world gets or how stupid it shows me it is, I always have faith"

— Gerard Way

“You're going to come across a lot of sh*tty bands, and a lot of sh*tty people. And if anyone of those people call you names because of what you look like, or because they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that motherf*****, stick up your middle finger, and scream F*** YOU!”

-Gerard Way

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching."

-Gerard Way

"it's not about being who everyone else wants you to be, It's about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it."

-Gerard Way

"You’ll never take me alive, you’ll never take me alive

Do what it takes to survive 'cause I’m still here"

-Kill All Your Friends

""I'll never let them hurt you, I promise"

-Vampires Will Never Hurt You

" I feel like there's so many people out there who have the kids in the palms of their hand listening, but there are so few people saying something."

-Gerard Way

"You're running after something

that you'll never kill...if this is what you want

then fire at will..."

-Gerard Way

"Do or die, you'll never make me

Because the world will never take my heart

Go and try, you'll never break me

We want it all, we wanna play this part

I won't explain or say I'm sorry

I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar

Give a cheer for all the broken

Listen here, because it's who we are

I'm just a man, I'm not a hero

Just a boy, who had to sing this song

I'm just a man, I'm not a hero

I don't care!"

-Welcome To the Black Parade

"I Am Not afraid To Keep On Living."

-Famous Last Words

"Stand up tall dont let them see your back, take my hand and never be afraid again."

-Our Lady Of Sorrows

"Just to know that it's okay to be messed up, 'cause there's five dudes that are just as messed up as you are."

-Gerard Way

If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken.

Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about.

~Gerard Way

You may ask yourself;

How do you know this if you haven't actually met him?

1) Through his lyrics

2)Through his interviews

3)Through the way he speaks

4)For the amount of respect he has for his fans

5)For the respect he has for women

6)Because he doesn't judge

7)Because he dislikes cliques, gangs etc

8)Because he is true to his beliefs

9)Because he see's the good through the bad

10)Because of what he has managed to overcome in his life e.g being and alcoholic,depression,suicidal tendencies,etc

I Love him for so many reasons.

I LOVE them All, especially Gerard, Ray and Bob

Favorite Music Videos:

P.S. Gerard quit smoking (Thank God)

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

I'm on a Bus!, I'm on a Bus!, Everybody look at Me cuz I'm ridin' on a Bus!

2009-10-08T06:46:00.011-05:00

LOL, you will not get the title of this blog post unless you watch this.

[Pointless Humor] {lol, "My Flippie Floppies"}

Funny huh?

Here is a shirt i saw at Hot topic yesterday that i was insanely close to getting until i decided on an My Chemical Romance Venganza! shirt. heres the MCR shirt (it reads: Venganza! Traido usted por sus amigos en My Chemical Romance -Revenge! Brought to you by your friends in My Chemical Romance-)I LOVE my new shirt! she also bought me other things that I'm going to take pictures of me wearing it all soon :p

The reason why i changed it to a 'Bus' is because yesterday mom took me to the mall and we rode the bus A PUBLIC BUS! I GOT ON A PUBLIC BUS!

so in my head I was so giddy with happiness that i couldn't stop thinking of that song and the fact that i was comfortable on a public bus around all those people (I overcame it a little) i decided to switch it up a bit by putting bus, i was cracking up from that.

anyway, I'm gonna make a "real" post later on.

Love you All!

Ciao!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. "The World is Crap...but you know what you can do with that crap? Grow Flowers!" -My Wonderful Mother, Gina

I said the first part about the world being crap and she finished it. me make our own quotes people! haha

'Normal'?...What is it?

2009-10-06T15:47:00.000-05:00

Normal People?

What is considered 'normal'?

I try to think that being afraid of everyone is 'normal' and at times, i am successful at it, until i get a moment of alone time to think about myself and judge myself. I hate how i try to compare myself to people who are considered normal. Society.

I'm still avoiding a therapist. But it seems that I won't be able to for long.

Last week i was so proud of myself. I overcame small but meaningful things.

I have failed this week.

Particularly Yesterday around 7:30 PM i was in the car with Justin, Brittany, and Vern, they wanted to go inside a store. i didn't. I'm afraid of being in cars alone. (and it was getting dark) and because I wasn't dressed well like Brittany, my sister who i am overly jealous of. I was worried if i was to walk in that store everyone would be judging me as ugly and i'd be crying on the inside. Well, they went inside and i stayed in the car praying over and over again i lifted my head up from hiding in my lap to see if they were out. Out of nowhere someone BANGS on the car window like in a thrilling movie. i was so moved with shock, I couldn't make a sound. My heart pounded so hard i thought i was gonna have a heart attack. I hear Justin (my brother) laughing (not realizing how much that scared me) telling me to open the door. I was so pissed and still trying to get my heart to stop going berserk I couldn't move. I began to cry. hard. I felt like such a loser. he's done it before (before my social phobia and anxiety became a BIG problem in my life) and also to my sister, we never reacted that way. it took me about a whole minute to be able to look at him and open the door. He left and Brittany came back. I felt like a BIGGER loser. seeing her care for me and have nothing wrong with her, the worry she had; I wish i had someone to worry about instead of constantly trying to be like my sister so i can get a job, be around people, have a life! Everything scares me! i'm so sick of it!

I've always been a loner but i haven't always been so afraid of humanity.

I used to be the girl in school who would hang with the people who were not socially accepted.

and i'm not talking about nerds and geeks and freaks and goths. I'm talking about the kids with health issues, Ugly kids, the smart quiet kids. not the arrogant ones.

I ruined every chance i had at being socially accepted. The one time i told myself i wouldn't do it; it came for me even more. i went to a middle school in a new state after being home schooled for 2 years (because of my hatred for public school) and i wanted a new start, i went to my very 1st class and a sweet looking girl walked up to me "will you be my friend?" iv'e never had anyone ask me that "sure" i smiled big. i thought i was going to love it there, then i sit down and the girl across from me says "you shouldn't hang out with her, she has this thing where she twitches, shes just weird." and i thought CRAP! crap crap crap crap crap crap!!! i get in line to go to lunch with her. we get into the cafeteria and a bunch of girls walk up to me "hi, I'm kayla! why are hanging out with 'Twitchy'?" i look at her in confusion trying to figure out what she meant by that. "twitchy, the girl with that problem where she twitches all the time." "you mean tourette syndrome?" "yeah whatever, the point is; you shouldn't be hanging with her." "okay." one of the girls pop up from behind her "want to sit with us?" i remembered that Ashley wanted me to sit next to her but as an attempt to try to be with both i told Ashley that i want to get to know everyone here, she was fine with it so i went over to their table and sat with them "so what do you like new girl?" new girl? i had forgotten how disrespectful kids are. "i love music, poetry, comic books, i like a lot of things." she put a disgusting face on "what are you like some emo nerd kid?" i laughed "no, i can like things without being a stereotype" "whatever. what music do you like?" "all genres, but i have favorite bands like My Chemical Romance and Green Day" she rudely interrupted me "oh god, you ARE emo." i looked to the side and saw Ashley waving at me to come over. i looked back at Kayla trying to figure out what would happen if i went over, the idiot already thought i was an emo. i decided what im doing. I was trying to be on both teams which isn't possible in school, i looked at her and all her friends " I am not emo." the faces they made at me caused me to imagine jumping across the table and pulling their hair out. I wanted to. I got up and walked away. i sat down at a table with no one there and ashley comes over "she get to you?" i bit some of my pizza "skip it." she sat down "you know from this day forward you'll be known as a loner to them right?" i knew it, i din't want to face it. that time was supposed to be different. "i don't care" i finished eating and some arrogant jerk came up to me "you're emo?" i ignored him "you are emo aren't you?" i freaked out "NO, im not emo! you want to categorize yourself your welcome to it." i got called a bunch of names and that's when i made myself a freak. from that day forward i was the freak or the loner, only 4 people called me by my name. I told myself i was going to stay in that wretched school for Ashley. She never stood up for herself. It reminded me of me, i wanted to stay there and defend all the horrible people who would call her twitchy and mimic her movements, laughing every time she twitches.(heartless animals.) The teachers did nothing for her. I saw her cry so much from them. i had very violent day dreams when in school, probably because of anger. I was too shy myself to stand up very tall and i'm opposed to fighting. When i did stand up for her i was so proud that i finally had the courage to say something. Another thing is, people found things to pick on me about (the fact they could take me down because im so petite, my music, my hair, my religion) Anything they could use they did. I never told anyone of my family because i didn't want to be taken out of school and i know that would've happened if i did, so i kept quiet. My sister's high school experience was amazing and i was so jealous of the friends she had, the fun times. It made me so jealous that i could never have what she had.

As you can see I hung out with different kind of socially unaccepted kids. Maybe because i was one of them. I don't know. I like to think it's because for a moment in my life i didn't care fully what anyone thought of me and therefore I stood next to someone who was a great person to show her that not everyone will follow the crowd for popularity. That there is people beyond the school she was in who have hearts. To show her that it IS possible for someone to come along who looks past something she can't control. I showed that girl my faults just to show her that everyone who makes fun of her like they are perfect have problems too. I bet some of them wet their bed still. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Unfortunately for her; Her's were out in the open for everyone to see and convince themselves that they are perfect. Like they are kings and queens and she is a mere peasant. In that school i was bullied physically a couple of times, and I'll never forget about a time where someone pushed me to start a fight with me and kids began to circle doing the normal (yelling FIGHT!) and I screwed up something i said to them that everyone laugh at which point out of nowhere i ran away like a little 5 year old girl. I can laugh at that now thinking about how funny that must have been (i made a complete dork out of myself) but back then i wasn't laughing, they had a new nickname for me for about 2 weeks but i can't remember what it was then they went back to the normal stuff they laid out for me.

Speaking of which; What is up with kids and nicknames?

It's like they feel the need to give someone an alternative good or bad name. It's annoying.

or is that what 'normal' kids do?

i really don't know what 'normal' is. I have a feeling no one really does, they just try to guess and also follow what others do.

I'm not a follower, I am a leader. I used to try to follow to fit in and i was horrible at it.

I'm not a 'trend-setter' or an 'Anarchist' i simply do not follow people no matter how popular or cool it is to follow. I go about my own things and don't care weather or not anyone follows.

Society is so boring and unoriginal. there is never any excitement. it also creeps me out to think about how people watch crime shows like Law and Order special victims unit, C.S.I.

Why would you want to see things creeping right outside your door?

children being raped and killed, people getting chopped up,children becoming evil and raping their family, Why the HECK! would you want to see that?!

why would ANYONE want to see that?!

it's sick. it's wrong. and it's not the type of wake-up call people should be seeing.

in movies, why would you want to see woman being raped and chopped up, people being eaten, people being stabbed repeatedly, people being tortured, how could you get enjoyment out of that? when i sit down to watch TV i sit down to escape reality not to become deeper into it.

i sit down for justice, comedy, solutions. Things that the world should be.you want to see people being hurt? look outside your door, I'm sure you'll find some.

...and you wonder why I'm afraid of outside, THAT'S WHY! i'd rather be couped up in my house than face the reality of what this world has become. DEATH or life with no friends? your choice. I think you know what mine is...

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Blog Awards Everyone! Come and get your blog award!

2009-10-05T07:58:00.008-05:00

Phoebe gave me a blog award so here are the rules... Your blog awards are down in the post, ENJOY!

Rules:

1) Thank the blogger who gave you the award: Thank You Phoebe, You're too kind :)

2) Copy award and place it on my blog: are you looking at this?

3) Link to blog that nominated you: done.

4) List 7 things about myself my fellow bloggers may not know:

hmmm...

1. I like watching little kids shows.

2. I can sing, but I'm too afraid to start a career. (Social Phobia? Agoraphobia?...yeah, not gonna happen)

3. I died my hair green once and I loved the attention i got from it. Everyone noticed me.

4. Everyone tells me that i need professional 'Help', but I don't think i do.

5. Whenever I try to explain what my hair looks like when it's out to people online, I say it looks like a brown version of Robert Smith's hair in the video "Just Like Heaven" by "The Cure" (one of my FAVORITE bands) You'll see my hair out when I make a video blog...

6.i tried to be a vegetarian and after 3 days i failed to McDonalds. (I tried for the animals.)

7. I went through a "Peta" phase when i was 12 and 13, now I back up A.S.P.C.A. Peta is full of it, They abuse animals also.

I'm supposed to pass this on, so here we go:

Shinzui Kisaragi @ Shinzui's Thoughts - Love You!

Clara @ TRASH ON - I LOVE your blog

JW @ Your Topic Here - VERY interesting blog.

Phoebe @ My Pink'n'Black Montage -Cute Blog.

Have fun with your awards Everyone!

another thing is; if you have your e-mail address up, i have other awards to send to you all. but they have to be emailed. the subject in your inbox will be "Your Blog Has Received An Award" look forward to it :D

(I need your email, Phoebe.)

Au Revoir!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Death Note & Bleach AMVs

2009-10-03T02:00:00.002-05:00

(I have that bag with L on it, I'm holding it right now, LOL)
I LOVE watching AMVs
and these are my favories

Death Note AMVs:
Skillet:Whispers In The Dark.

Mindless Self indulgence:Shut Me Up

Drowning pool:Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

Three Days Grace:Time of Dying

Three Days Grace:Animal I have Become

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE.

LOL, Live Action L: He wants candy.

Live Action Death Note Movie:

Death Note: the Last name

L: change the WorLd

Three Days Grace: Get Out Alive

Three Days Grace really meshes well with Death Note.

i wonder if My Chemical Romance could.....hmmm. I'll have to see about making one :D

i REALLY love this Bleach AMV
Three Days Grace:Watch Me Burn.

this is one of my favorite Bleach ones

hope you enjoyed!

Three Days Grace!

2009-10-02T22:26:00.000-05:00

one of my favorite bands has a new Album
Three Days Grace (c'mon, You've had to have heard of them)
Anyway, They have a new Album out called "Life Starts Now."
I'm so excited!

Obsession.

2009-10-02T19:30:00.000-05:00

I'm starting an online store thanks to Zazzle.com!
my store is called Obsession.
here is a widget i would appreciate everyone to put places on the internet so i can get traffic (traffic=buyers= $)
first thing i want to buy is that joker action figure
PLEASE EVERYONE HELP ME ADVERTISE!

make custom gifts at Zazzle

I HAVE TO BUY this Exclusive Batman Dark Knight Joker Action Figure!!!

2009-10-02T01:55:00.001-05:00

Exclusive Batman Dark Knight Joker Action Figure - Mattel - Toys "R" Us

Shared via AddThis

So I don't look like such a Loser...

2009-10-01T15:24:00.002-05:00

i know i've been doing nothing lately but go to the mall and embrace myself from all those people walking around and looking at me like I'm an alien and i completely forgot about sharing how New Jersey was and the assembly and also Maryland was.
Im sorry!
i have tons of photos for you to check out that way you can be entertained by the lovely Stanley Theatre in Jersey City, N.J.

Moving along...

Time to show my love for New Jersey.

First of all; in order to driver in New Jersey, you HAVE to be an aggressive driver. All you hear 24/7 is car horns honking out of frustration of others. It's actually extremely funny to see how little it takes to get someone all worked up. I've never heard so many car honks. We were in Newark (where Gerard was born, he was raised in Belleville)

When we arrived, i looked at the City and all the rust, dirt, graffiti, and age that lies within it, and i thought; "What a wonderful place this is." all the things inside it made me feel HOME.

i mean it though. I felt like i belonged there. Like i was destined to be there and that I HAVE got to go back when i get a car and visit WAY TOO often. You think I'm kidding? guess what? I'M NOT!...in all seriousness, i want to go back, i MUST go back.

any hoo, here is all the lovely pictures Me, Sheena, and Brittany took of us, Jersey and The Stanley Theatre

ENJOY!

LE STANLEY THEATRE!

the rest of the Jehovah's Witnesses walking over

The Grand Sign!

I love this picture of me

Brittany said to pose so i did. I did a good job (surprisingly.)

the Entrance

Brittany holding the door open

on the stairs admiring the essence of the theatre's beauty.

the ambiance is so great.

from upstairs.

see where those stairs are?

thats where me and Brittany were A LOT

we love their marble beauty.

and the lovely murals.

Chandelier.

it's not the real one because sense the theatre is in a neighborhood that is considered dangerous; they moved the real chandelier to another state :)

but it's still has the feel of the real one.

i thought this was such a lovely exit sign. i just HAD to take a picture.

im looking at the beauty and my sister seems confused, LOL

me in front of a marble

this was marble (not a pillar) i can't remember what it is called, just look up to the image above this, you'll see them all around in the background.

the main congregation area (where we sit and worship) it was so hard to focus on what the brother was saying instead of the beauty. they recaptured a bridge in Italy.

me taking notes

me taking pictures (shame on me)

what downstairs looks like. see that top section up there?

that's where we sat up in the right part of the section.

this place looked like a royal castle

the window and curton was not that color, the curtan was a royal red and it was nice and light blue outside (gorgeous day)

this mirror was HUGE, i wish the camera could have captured that.

contribution box.

New Jersey

J.F.K. Bld.

The Drama.

Sheena
(mom's best friend since 3rd grade)

Vester (V.J.)
(Sheena's husband)

me in Maryland's congregation

With Brittany before the meeting

LOL

Miko dressing up

Me, Brittany, and Sheena in the park with Miko

My Dad, Brittany, Sheena, Justin, and Me

My Mom and My Wonderful Grandmother I'm always talking about who passed away of breast cancer (she was my best friend) {Leslie Hall}
these were taken YEARS ago, but i just wanted to put them up because Sheena just gave them to me.

hope you enjoyed
~Yours Truly, Roxxie
P.S. This is my 101 post! woo hoo!

Etc.

2009-09-30T04:04:00.001-05:00

First we shall look at Michael...

LOL, look at the tiny seat! too funny!

I would have died also if i got an autograph and hug from MJ.

aw he's such a cute dork

...Gerard...

HAHAHAHA!

...The Funny...

...last but Definitely Not least; Death Note

OH YEAH TEAM L!

....

{uh oh, Light heard me...}
oh well.

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

makes a lot of sense huh?

LOL, this cracked me up

Ladies & Gentleman..L Lawliet!

Batteries Are My Enemy.

2009-09-28T21:29:00.001-05:00

Sorry for not putting up the Video Blogs like i said i would.
What happened is; Justin (my brother)deleted the one i made and used up the batteries for stupidity, so now i've got to wait till i can go buy some new ones {thank Justin for that.}
sorry everyone.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

"Shy People Are Not Always What They Seem."

2009-09-28T20:48:00.005-05:00

First off,
I'd like to say I have 5 new followers and I want to say Welcome and I'm glad you like my blog. I also want to Thank You all for being my followers and reading my blog. I have a hard time expressing myself through words unless it's typed or on a sheet of paper. When I've know someone for a while I'm able to do it better. I must be, people are always telling me i'm unique and special. So i must find some way to express myself without words. Maybe art. maybe passions, music, or maybe just the little things i say that i make sure are not just teenage stupidity. I want people to realize that I am not your "normal" teenager. I like teenage stuff, but also adult and old. I LIKE IT ALL! from teletubbies to iCarly to My Chemical Romance to Opera to Cross Stitching (god, i LOVE cross stitching![I thank my deceased Grandmother; Leslie Hall {who I loved so much} for teaching me.])

I'm like a 40 year old who likes things of all ages (yes, i LOVE The Big Comfy Couch, doo-op music, Let's not forget my love for My Chemical Romance, Green Day, The Cure, The Smashing Pumpkins, and Michael Jackson) who is in a 15 year old's body at the moment. (some say i look 18, though, so I'm not sure about that last part)

The only thing I will ever conform to is my religion (I'm a Jehovah's Witness)
if i decide to conform to anything else, it will be a good reason for it. I'm not a non-conformist, i just hate stupid trends that people do to help ease their own guilt. Everyone is always about themselves. We all always think of ourselves way more than necessary. We think people think the way we do or the complete opposite. we think everyone is as sensitive as us or less sensitive as us. we think people are always judging us, thinking good or bad things about us. when the fact is. they're thinking of their selves and if your'e judging them. they're not thinking about us. Even if we feel they are. they thinking the same as us "what did my first impression seem to them" even the most confident person thinks this way because we realize our own imperfections in our mind and are self-conscious of it so we feel they may know and judge.
so try to realize that even if people seem to be judging they're really thinking if you're judging them.
We all think about ourselves. Our Life.

My whole life i have not had a lot of friends (notice how i never talk about anyone, because I've only got my family, Porscha and Vern, and Brian) people in the congregation (place where we meet for worship) are nice to me and friendly but i wouldn't consider them my close friends, and the reason why i don't have a lot is because shy people are not intriguing to others. Fortunately I'm not like Brittany (my sister) she needs friends, otherwise she'll get them in the wrong places and end up with friends who have absolutely NO morals. I can live a life without friends. As long as I've got my god Jehovah and my family; I Will be okay. if i didn't have them; i would not be okay. Those two reasons is the only reason i want to live.

anyways, that is why i appreciate it so much. so, Thank You. and to the ones who welcomed me for being their followers; Thank You so much.
I'm gonna go work on my novel
Good bye.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. my internet is being TERRIBLE so I can pretty much only come to blogger, I miss facebook. but we'll get it fixed soon, hope to talk to you soon Brian.

The Pretty Boy.

2009-09-28T00:09:00.001-05:00

You may know The Pretty Boy as "Zac Efron" (Troy Bolton from High School Musical)
I have a brand new perception of Mr. Efron.
like you may be thinking, i used to think he was a talentless conceited jerk who happens to be the latest hottie on all the girl's list. I Changed My Mind On That Thought.
Zac Efron is a VERY talented person, maybe not in the singing category, but he has very good acting skills and i am not afraid (nor should i be.) to say I am a fan of his (not a teeny bopper type fan.)
If you watch "17 Again" you will see how talented this young actor is.

I cried in this movie, because guess what? Im like my grandmother. We cry very easily. (that i am embarrassed to say)and this movie is funny, interesting, and touching. Zac is a very good actor and i look forward to his movies in the future.

Take my word for it; rent the movie.
I have a feeling you'll change your mind also, and if you don't; oh well!
everyone has their opinions and are entitled to them.
I just don't think it's fair to judge someone's talent by one lousy movie they were in. Where is the justice in that? think about it; if you were just beginning your acting career and it took off on a stupid Disney movie that's meant for 13 year olds and people judged you by that because you just happen to be good looking and they placed you as the jock or prep, would you Really think that would be fair? I know i wouldn't and i feel bad for judging him so poorly. Zac Efron is more than just another pretty face in hollywood; he actually has talent!
FINALLY! a New, Young Actor who has talent, what took those idiots so long?!

I'm A Delusional, Sensitive, Overly-Jealous Person.

2009-09-26T10:38:00.001-05:00

I haven't slept for so long, and now im sooo tired but i was planning on going out in field service today at 8 AM i got up and told myself to go out there for Jehovah, he's appreiciating my effort. i got off the couch and made coffee (mistake #1) then i got dressed (mistake #2) then i sat around like a fool (mistake #3) realizing that my brother didn't tell my ride that i wanted to go today (they originally came yesterday to take me out but my allergies were out of control so i couldn't, he was supposed to tell them to pick me up today) He forgot!
my Delusional self stayed up 3 hours waiting for that person. i wasted soooooooo much time. and now because i drank so much coffee, i can't go to sleep, i'm dead-tired and my head is super heavy, like i've been drugged. I'm watching Spongebob Squarepants and i keep having small day dreams of the characters reaching through my TV screen saying "Come live in a world where you don't have to sleep, Roxanne." it's pretty creepy actually. If that ever happened all i'd do is keep screaming Jehovah's name, i have had to do that so much in my dreams and my mother has had to do that in reality. As soon as i scream JEHOVAH!!! i wake up. i had a dream my sister was about to be stabbed to death and i did that and it stopped and i woke up crying. another thing is; i keep having to ask him for help from myself, lately i've been talking so down upon myself, i was brushing my hair in the mirror and a voice in my head literally said "I Hate You." i started crying, i woke up crying and i was headed for a deep depression, luckily im close with my mom and we talked and she helped me. I still need to get to a therapist (dont get me wrong) but im trying my hardest to avoid it.

sad thing is; i know mostly what has been destroying me

My sister's beauty.
Brittany is gorgeous, ya know how theres ugly, average, pretty, beautiful, & gorgeous?
my sister is a 10.
people have said she looks like Megan Fox. When we walk down the street all i see and hear is boys lookin and whistling and asking her out, shes like a steak and im bologna. im NOT kidding.
it is so hard to be her friend, because jealousy is the worst thing ever for me, i get jealous more and easier than most people. It hurts A LOT. i've got brains (which no one can see from a distance) and she's got looks.
No one can truly understand what it's like to be next to a girl who has beyonce's body and megan fox's face and expressions. I hate being jealous of her. I love her. She is the kind of girl who could steal anyone's boyfriend if she wanted to. by the way, she is the most flirtiest girl you will ever meet, she is so flirty that she's straight but she flirts with both genders (Girl+Super Hott+Super Flirty+Stupid & Naive=A Boys Dream).I always have nightmares of having a husband and him divorcing me because he loves her, even if she doesnt love him or even like him, so many of my crushes has like brittany instead of me, some asked me to ask her out for them. I got over it, but she keeps getting more beautiful. so muh that one day i may not be able to hang out with her because i'll act like a such a sad, angry, jealous jerk.
She's so outgoing also, why can't i be the outgoing one?
people always say im special. the way i look at it is; im special in a shy, over-sensitive, weird, freakishly mature way.
i swear sometimes in my head i just scream I HATE YOU!!!, there has been so many times, im always talking down to myself "you're lips are not as big as brittany's, you look horrible with the lipstick you used to wear that she now wears better" even right now, im thinking about her hair and eyes; so big and chic but edgy. Brittany has no idea how much i think of her. How high up she is in my mind and others and how low i am.
i cried last night when i looked at her just sitting there in jammies looking like she just came down from beauty heaven (lol) wherever we go together she is always getting honks and whisles and all the other useless things men do to get a girl's attention.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

(LOL, those are my shoes ^)

(these pictures don't even do her justice.)[thats her REAL hair color]

isn't she amazing?

P.S. she just turned 18, she's all grown up.God, I Love Her.

Video Blogs (or "Vlogs"; as the majority of you call them.)

2009-09-21T20:43:00.001-05:00

Guess what Everyone?
My father bought me the Flip video camera so now I will be making Video Blogs A LOT.

excited?
I am.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

"Hi My name is Roxanne A_____, I need help."

2009-09-17T23:25:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been working on my novel and it's getting so graphic (as in SAW graphic) gore and all. Something I didn't want to happen. I HATE GORE. But I can't stop. Everytime I sit down and write it comes out like it's been held in for years waiting to escape. It was going So well, but it turned for the Worst. I don't know what to do. I have such an urge to work on it but I know it will just keep getting worse. Anyone have any ideas to help me?

If you don't, it's okay. I'm just going to have to wait 'till I can get back in the right mode.

Anyway, I'm going through a lot right now (emotionally)

I'm scared to go to the therapist to get me help. But I need it. A LOT.

I need to push myself to go. I just.. I-I can't.

I want to move onto a new subject.

...........I can't think of one. -I'm gonna go draw now- Bye.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

The Newest People I'm A Fan Of...

2009-09-16T18:14:00.003-05:00

Demi Lovato. & Taylor Swift.

Now, like me (at first) you may judge her like a typical Disney Star trying to have a singing career. If you took time to listen to her, you'd see she is WAY too good for Disney. I'm actually sad that she signed to them. Her voice is like a different version of Haylie's (lead singer of Paramore) She is a VERY TALENTED singer. and I'm really glad she has brought something new to the Disney table, I still hate Disney but she helps me tolerate it. I love alot of songs of hers. Here is a couple. (if you have your speakers off, put thm ON. she HAS talent.)

onto Taylor Swift. I don't like her older stuff just the new stuff. At first I didn't like her country styled voice but after my sister urged me to listen to her, I grew to like it. Now I am a fan. Her style is very unique and takes time to get used to, but once you look beyond the country aspect and to her VOICE and her LYRICS. You get over it and appreciate her work. Here is some of her videos. (Turn those speakers ON)

My Favorite.

see?

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

What has happened to Hilary Duff?!

2009-09-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

Watch this video and you'll know EXACTLY what I mean.

Now, I know she's an adult, but that crap was britney Spears crap, What the heck has happened to her?!!!
Why did she become so slutty?!
man, what a disapointment.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

The Following Photos Are From My Mom, Not Me. So Go thank Her & Check Out Her ART.

2009-09-15T19:18:00.000-05:00

Momma's Art Link.

This is My Family. im in the red, brittany is in the yellow and justin is in the blue (year 1995)

↓

Sheena & Mom (year 1986)

↓

Mom & Grandma going inside the Kingdom Hall

↓

boy, does this bring so many great memories. This was the first kingdom Hall

i have ever been to. and it has so many memorable friends and memories.

↓

okay memories and family photos time is OVER!

...

now let's get to the weird, funny, and pretty stuff.

Pretty shirt from Gossip Girl's Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester [what a horrible name.])

Artistic

Beautiful & Elegant.

I would DEFINITELY wear this.

creepy and WEIRD

but strangely intriguing.

...

now to end this on a funny note...

hahahahaha

they should have put records, then CDs then iPods.

bye!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Lesson For Men:

2009-09-15T18:28:00.001-05:00

Never stand behind your wife when she's in heels asking you if her butt looks fat in those pants.

it's Not A Joke, It's Serious.

2009-09-12T18:20:00.000-05:00

You May or May Not have Noticed...My new blog name.

Turns out, i have Social Phobia. it's not a joke, its serious.
i found out from a very dear friend of mine who has the same issues as me only he has accepted it and is living through it. he is a brother in my old congregation i used to go to when i was 7.

he was an adult and i was 7 so i didnt really know him nor did i try to get to know him.
on my facebook; i recently posted the blog post about not wanting to go to Maryland (remember?) and why i didnt want to go. He messaged me and has been helping me immensly. Everyone always says "you're not alone" but i truly felt like it. but because he is an introverted person who has Social Phobia and Agoraphobia; like me. So he understands me. We think the same, he has had the same problems i have been having lately and can help me through it. Mom is going to work on finding me a therapist. I am also planning on getting anxiety medicine to help me. I never told anyone this or mentioned it here because i wanted to hide it from myself. i didnt want to face the reality of what is wrong with me. I wanted to live in ignorance. (Ignorance is Bliss) I mean, face it. It's not something to be proud of. For many reasons

People won't invite you anywhere because they will feel you'll say no anyways (it's happened to me A LOT)
people will think you're weird and no fun (it has been said to me)
People won't like you because they will feel you'll be a downer. (again, happened to me.)
YOUR AFRAID TO GO OUTSIDE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
you feel physically sick around people
you feel you dont live up to other's expectations (a 15 year old with agoraphobia and social? thats not right)
the list goes way on, but i dont want to.

The only reason i named my blog that is because in my mind it is helping me accept that that is what i have, who i am, and to be open with it and confident.
in a way, it does help. Just not enough. i have been praying to Jehovah God for the past few days and it is helping. i just wish i could listen to my own words and my favorite quotes "Be yourself." and just embrace who i am and learn to love who i am and realize, im not a freak, nor a loser, just a quirky, unique individual.
hopefully Jehovah helps me succeed in loving myself for who i am.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Random things i do when im bored.....

2009-09-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

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Yes or No.

2009-09-08T19:16:00.000-05:00

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No

.2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems.Now, here's what you're supposed to do. . .
Copy and paste this into your blog (etc.), delete my answers, type in your answers.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- no

Been arrested? --- NO

Kissed someone you didn't like? --- no

Slept in until 5 PM? --- YES

Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes

Held a snake? --- yes

Ran a red light? --- no

Experienced love at first sight? --- NO

Totaled your car in an accident? --- no

Been fired from a job? --- no

Fired somebody? --- no

Sang karaoke? --- YES

Pointed a gun at someone? --- no

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- YES

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes

Kissed in the rain? --- NO

Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- NO

Seen someone die? --- yes

Played spin-the-bottle? --- NO

Sang in the shower? --- yes

Smoked a cigar? --- no

Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes

Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- no

Smuggled something into another country? --- NO

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- Yes

Broken a bone? --- no

Skipped school? --- YES

Eaten a bug? --- Yes

Sleepwalked? --- no

Walked a moonlit beach? --- no

Rode a motorcycle? --- no

Dumped someone? --- no

Forgotten your anniversary? --- no

Lied to avoid a ticket? --- no

Ridden on a helicopter? --- No

Shaved your head? --- no

Blacked out from drinking? --- no

Played a prank on someone? --- yes

Hit a home run? -- Yes

Felt like killing someone? --- Yes

Cross-dressed? --- no

Been falling-down drunk? --- no

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- no

Eaten snake? --- no

Marched/Protested? --- NO

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- no

Puked on amusement ride? --- no

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- Yes

Been in a band? --- NO

Knitted? --- no

Been on TV? --- no

Shot a gun? --- NO

Skinny-dipped? --- NO

Gave someone stitches? --- no

Eaten a whole habenero pepper? --- NO

Ridden a surfboard? --- yes

Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- yes

Had surgery? --- no

Streaked? --- no

Taken by ambulance to hospital? -- Yes

Peed on a bush? --- No

Donated Blood? --- no

Grabbed electric fence? --- no

Eaten alligator meat? --- NO

Eaten cheesecake? --- YES

Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- yes

Killed an animal when not hunting? --- NO!

Peed your pants in public? --- yes

Snuck into a movie without paying? --- yes

Written graffiti? --- no

Still love someone you shouldn't? --- no

Think about the future? --- yes

Been in handcuffs? --- NO

Believe in love? --- YES

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- yes

"The essence of drawing is the line exploring space." ~ Andy Goldsworthy.

2009-09-08T16:31:00.000-05:00

"Drawing is the honesty of art. To draw does not mean simply to reproduce contours: drawing does not consist merely of line. Drawing is also expression, the inner form, the plane and modeling. See what remains after that. Drawing includes three and a half quarters of the content of painting." ~ Jean-Auguste Dominique Ingres.

"A work of art goes through many phases of development, but in each phase it is always a work of art. (Therein lies the importance of sketches.) A work of art is finished, from the point of view of the artist, when feeling and perception have resulted in a spiritual synthesis." ~ Hans Hofmann

My Drawings.

My Art.

"The Face Of Lies."

"A Last Farewell."

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

You're Right.

2009-09-07T18:59:00.002-05:00

My bad on my last post, Shinzui you're right, that was seriously harsh, i'm just so sick of fake people. And i ran into one yesterday and they walked up to me and said "i cut myself because i hate myself, what about you?" needless to say i gave that person a piece of my mind...

Self Esteem

2009-09-06T15:57:00.004-05:00

Are you lacking it?

.......

well, guess what?.............WE ALL ARE!

just SHUT UP!

stop crying about how much you hate life and yourself. WE ALL DO!

we are imperfect and we recognize that and not to mention; WE HATE IT!

Even people who seem happy have at least an ounce of missing Self Esteem.

people like you are a waste of humanity.

Kidding!

*maybe not......

NO, I AM KIDDING!

it is true that everyone hates something about themselves but i didn't mean to be so harsh.

see that? I hate how harsh i can be (etc.).

honestly, you emos out there are so fake It's Disgusting. It's Sad. It's Lying, and It's just WRONG.

as far as I'm concerned, you have No Individuality whatsoever.You're like the barbie dolls i used to play with when i was young; Plastic, Annoying, and Not Real.

Cut the act. Not your wrists.

My letter to a Wonderful person, Michael Jackson.

2009-08-29T13:08:00.006-05:00

Dear Michael,

I hope to see you resurrected in the new system of things. I know you loved Jehovah deep in your heart like your family. and i hope that i see you right there smiling and looking perfect with all your former brothers and sisters. We'll never forget you Michael. and even though a lot of people believed that you committed all the cases against you before you died and now because of guilt they claim they suddenly love you, i want to tell you that i always believed you and i would have loved to meet you, i know you were and ARE a good person. Both me and you know that this is not the end, this is not Goodbye. i WILL be seeing you again, only, i will be meeting you. As i watch you in your home videos with your friends and family it saddens me to see you are lacking the one thing you used to have that matters the most of everything you've ever had JEHOVAH GOD. but the world and Satan got to you by giving you the ability to create a CD that can NEVER be topped. We are all imperfect and i forgive you, if you repent and so will Jehovah and Jesus. We love you Michael if you love us. and i know you do. That's why you want your children to be raised as Jehovah's Witnesses, because you know, it is the TRUTH and the ONLY way to Life.

hope to see you there my future friend.

~With Warm Christian Love, Roxxie

★☆INTRODUCING: The Stanley Theater!☆★

2009-08-28T10:10:00.007-05:00

watching Monk, never heard of the show? click HERE to learn. Adrian Monk is brilliant, if i was to ever want to be a detective (i did when i was young) He would be my role model.

anyway, I had ice cream for breakfast this morning...I've kinda been doing that lately...

well, Sheena and VJ are taking me and Brittany to the famous Stanley Theater in Jersey City!

that's right everyone I'm going to the Stanley Theater in Gerard's home state NEW JERSEY! yay, I'm just so excited, I'm finally get to see the place everyone talks about and the state Gerard grew up in. this is exactly why I'm going:

"The future of the building was in question until it was purchased as an Assembly Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses for $800,000 (not $18 million as stated before), in 1983. As of now the building is worth much more, but the price is unknown and is private. At that time some basement sections of the stage area were flooded under two feet (60 cm) of water. The original brass and copper on doors and windows was covered by layers of paint and dirt, the picturesque Italian façade was obscured by 50 years of nicotine and dust, and the seats were stained, torn, and ripped. The theater's huge chandeliers had lost their brilliance under layers of grime. Thousands of volunteers, Jehovah's Witnesses, worked over a nine-month period to renovate and clean the theater back to its original beauty and splendor, for its first assembly in August 1985. Tours of the former theater are now conducted Monday through Friday 8-12 and 1-5."

I'm going to an Assembly! (again; If you look up Jehovah's Witnesses, you'll see what i mean when i say things like "Meetings, Assembly's, Circuit Overseers, Bethel, the Watchtower and Awake, Baptism, Field Service, Pioneer, Publisher, Brother, Sister, Elder, Ministry, et cetera.) i can't wait to step inside this gorgeous building.

i am so interested in the fact that they volunteered to fix it up and make it gorgeous again, i love my brothers and sisters. look at what this person who is not a witness said to defend morons who have done no research on us. "It is very interesting how quick some are to judge here, The Witnesses have renovated this entire building, and it is beautiful as it is thanks to them, it was in the dump when they bought it, and it is interesting to know that this was done completely voluntarily, something most people these days care less about, and for the record, I have been to their Assemblies and nothing more pure and educational, any of you with negative comments should try before judging...and to straight the record even more is 144,000 to go to heaven, not 180,000. A bit of research would help before commenting on something you don't know, as far as the rest of humanity would leave on earth in paradise...so get the facts before the carriages... " that person has a brain.

im leaving this Sunday at 4 in the morning and ariving at 8 i think

can't wait!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

A point of NO return.

2009-08-27T22:06:00.009-05:00

Today me, Brittany, VJ, and Sheena took a trip down their memory lane. Our car broke

down before we could even get to my memory lane...

After they went to sleep

I unburied hidden secrets and

deep dark childhood thoughts and I've given them to my sister.

do i regret it?

yes.

why?

because it was too deep and personal.

can i ever take it back?

sadly, NO.

it's one thing to think

something that is embedded but buried in your mind, but to speak it with another human

being is a completely new level of "thinking" i have escalated to "speaking"; that is a point of no

return.

My emotions fell out of my mouth like dreadful music. My eyes cried as if dried up for years.

I Love my Sister. I Always will.

i love talking to her about everything, even my inner feelings, but today i went too far. There is nothing i can do to change it. The night has ended on very bad terms.

↖☜Roxxi∑☞↗

RARE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE PICS!!!!!!!!!!.....finally

2009-08-25T10:13:00.003-05:00

woo! i haven't done this in what feels like a year so enjoyt all my wonderful readers, love ya!

^ k wow, ummm, Gerard, your scaring me, LOL

^ yay! Mikey is in front :)

LOL, Gerard your such a cute dork

sorry that theres so little, im in a rush so i could only leave you with this. there will be MORE later, once again, im sorry.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

pics, pics, pics!

2009-08-21T09:59:00.007-05:00

well today i look like LynZ Balloto (Way) i took pictures to see if you agree with me.

I'm like a 15 year old version of her, lol

{LOL i take funny pics}

aside from that, I'm here in Maryland and i love it, we are not going to Cape Cod and I'm so happy, i don't have to be around too much people now, I've patched things up with my sister, and yes, I'm missing my daughter Tinkerbell, but Sheena has a dog named Miko who is keeping me from crying over her. here he is with me, i love kissing him, hes just so sweet

(hes a Maltese)

and this was taken when i was tired, it represents things that only i know of, (yay I'm wearing my Green Day shirt, lol)

P.S. all these were taken today besides the last one with the numbers (that was taken 4 days ago)

yesterday VJ took me and Britt to Books A Million and i read half of Death Note: Another Note, but then i got tired and started to fall asleep, i want to smack whoever put it online, because i read the one online and all of it was false, i feel like a fool, so I'm gonna ask VJ to take me back so i can finish the rest, I'm so pissed off about that, I'm just letting you all know, if you've read it online, its probably false, because the book is completely different. I tell ya, people make it their mission to piss me off.

right now I'm trying to get a hold of my mom and Justin but they're probably sleeping, lol, well, I'm gonna go, love y'all so much, OUTY, lol, I'm joking, speaking of joking, The new Joker needs to get a new video up, I'm starving for one, lol, k bye

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Pretending.

2009-08-18T07:31:00.004-05:00

NEW PHOTOS OF ME ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.

7:31 AM

Im on the plane right now but they dont have free wifi so this is being written while im on the plane but i wont be able to put it up until i get some wifi, the woman sitting next to me, STOLE MY SEAT!

i had the window seat, and i come on the plane to sit down and what do ya know, shes in it sleeping, that was a real jackass move, so im pissed about that. im drinking my favorite drink at the moment Coca Cola. and maybe Mom was right, i might like it, im trying to be positive now, unlike before in my last post where all i did was rant, i cant wait to see Sheena & VJ, i found out that i have to switch planes in Dallas to go to Maryland, isnt that rediculous?!

they flew me into a whole other time zone when i could have just gone straight up to Maryland from NC or driven. it sucks because i have to wait an hour for my second plane, i wont arrive in MD till 1 ó clock

im so bored because my laptop is about to die soon because its my tiny one so the battery only lasts an hour :( so im gonna go and i'll wright more while at the terminal and on the second plane :) PEACE!

12:25 PM

wow, i feel like such a bonehead. Turns out, it was the ladies seat. I was supposed to sit in the isle (i did) i feel so bad now, lol

anyway, right now im drinking coffee that they gave me and the stewardess just complimented my itty bitty laptop, im starting to get happy, but im so sick of plane rides its not even funny, how do famous people cope?

i guess it's all that money, lol, "got my mind on my money and my money on my mind." lol

this coffee is nasty. its so watered down, i want to throw it at the guy who keeps kicking my seat's head.

i look at those 1st class people and i think back to the time i was in 1st class, getting full meals, blankets for when your cold, pillows to rest your tired head on...oh i miss that, i envy each and every one of them right now. but then i look at my tiny laptop and im better because i have the best laptop on this plane, who says poor cant outdo rich?

i just proved you wrong.

i hope i become crazy happy when i get there. im sure i will, i love VJ and Sheena ever since the beginning of time, well, my time. LOL

im in the aisle seat again, but the woman next to me are very nice.

since im Sheena's guest since she works at the airline and im on her buddy pass, every ticket person and stewardess knows/knew my full name.

i feel special for that second they say "hello Roxanne, how are you today?" ahhh the ups and downs of being a celebrity. lol (i can dream im a celebrity, LET ME DREAM!)

also, if you've ever been on a plane you'll know they take a half hour to take off so as i was sitting in my seat, i began to think what if all things were real? i thought about the captain trying to releave the stress from the plane, i pictured the plane to seem very worn out (i know im odd) and i thought what if my seat was alive, my cup, this laptop, my purse, Sheena's car. what if everything in the world was alive and breathing and could speak our language? do you think we'd get curssed out a lot because we are selfish needy people? i think we would.

i think this seat would be saying to me "dang your light!" i think my purse would be saying "stop throwing me around!"i think my cup would be saying "you humans are nothing but users" lol

i think the car would be curssing everything in sight , wouldnt you if you were a car? i think this laptop would be saying "your so addicted to me Roxxie. I love you too" lol, i love my laptop.

the world would be that much more interesting if everything was alive. much more.

anyway, captain just said to turn off all electronics cuz we're landing, ttyl!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

PRETENDING TO BE RICH & FAMOUS.

ah, i just love how much i know about photoshop to pull this off, i know it like the back of my hand.

A Nice Place Where Nice People With Good Intentions Reside...WAY out of Control!

2009-08-17T04:41:00.003-05:00

That is where I'm going, MARYLAND!

honestly, I'm not "that" excited because i am antisocial and going there means I'll have to meet everyone and Sheena & VJ's (people I'm staying with) friends.

I'm sick of meeting people!

i came here to NC and met every last person, introverted antisocial people are not like that, we cannot take all these people and smile at them and seem interested in what they have to say. We don't have what's called "People Skills"

I'm good at observing people and understanding all they're little emotions, but i am NOT good at meeting so many people, people annoy me.

i told my mother this thinking she'd let me stay here because i need a break right? WRONG!

she won't, Sheena and VJ picked a horrible time this year, and not to mention the fact that I'm so angry with my sister it's not even funny and she's there with them :[

The people are nice and the place is nice and they have nothing but good intentions but i need a break from people, GIVE ME A BREAK!

i also have to fly on an airplane alone (I've never done that) which means i have to sit next to people i don't know and breath the air they are breathing. I Don't Want To Breathe Their Air!

i usually have fun when we go every year to visit Sheena and VJ but i can tell, this trip is not going to be fun, another thing is, you'd think I'd be lucky and happy because they're taking me to Cape Cod, WRONG AGAIN! too many people!, i was at an arcade in the huge Concord mall that's 5 miles long and i was freaking out because so many people were there, Porcsha (friend) thought i was going to have a panic attack, since I've moved my phobia of people has gotten way out of control. and my OCD is getting worse, what is wrong with me?! i feel like such a freak. I can hear the children at my old school call me a Freak...maybe they were right...

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

A Celebration Of ROCK AND ROLL.

2009-08-05T20:21:00.006-05:00

Now everyone knows by now how much i adore My Chemical Romance (if you don't; have you been paying attention at all?!) well i am so happy to announce MCR's brand new songs [They are all live because they have not produced the album yet, they're actually in the process] The concert was taken place at The Roxy in Los Angles. My personal favorite is"Death Before Disco"

(Gerard agrees with me on that one; "The songs are all wildly different, but the one I'm really excited about is called 'Death Before Disco'," Way told Rolling Stone. "It's a completely different sound fo

r the band – it's like an anti-party song that you can party to." "I can't wait for people to hear it. It brings back, lyrically, some of that wonderful fiction from the first album. I think we wrote our 'Born To Run', and I'm so amped about that. To me, it's the greatest song we've ever written – it's my favourite MCR song."-Gerard Way)but enough of all this chitter chatter, here is MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE'S 'Death Before Disco', 'Kiss The Rain ', & 'Drugs'! [I can't wait for the album.]

DEATH BEFORE DISCO:

KISS THE RAIN

DRUGS

From MTV.com :

Forget all that talk about ditching the shtick and focusing on fast-and-furious punk. My Chemical Romance have one sentiment they’d like to get across on their new album, one that echoes what Grand Funk Railroad said decades ago: “We’re an American rock band.”

“The punk element was something a lot of people talked about. I think once I said we were pulling out the marching bands, they assumed it was going to be a punk record,” Gerard Way told MTV News last month at San Diego Comic-Con, where he was promoting “Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion,” the third series of his Eisner-winning comic. “I mean, it’s definitely more aggressive, but to me it feels like a celebration of rock and roll. It feels like a true love letter to rock and roll. There’s something about being an American rock-and-roll band that we’ve kind of grown into and we’re very proud of. And I think that’s what we’re celebrating with this record. There’s no agenda, there’s no mission; it’s just about rock and roll.”

For proof, check out the fan footage of “Death Before Disco,” one of three new tracks MCR unveiled last Friday, during a secret show at the Roxy in Los Angeles. It’s a charging, fist-pumping number that recalls the Motor City pump of the MC5 and the L.A. strut of the Knack. And to help them hone in on that vibe even further, they’ve tapped producer Brendan O’Brien — who’s done albums for Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Mastodon, to name just a few —

to helm the sessions for the new album.

“We’re so happy working with Brendan O’Brien,” Way said. “We love him, we’re having the best time of our lives. It’s a total blast. I feel like it’s getting close to being finished. We’re doing tracking now. There’s no title yet. It’s crazy —

this is the first time we’re waiting to get really far into the project before [choosing a title]. I’m actually kind of excited about that. It’s kind of ‘anything goes’ at this point, but I’m so happy with the songs.”

Way said there’s still no release date for the new album, though he added, “It’s safe to say it’ll come out next year.” This is all keeping with the band’s open-ended, fast-and-loose approach to recording and writing, a first for MCR, who — up to this point —

have made their living on expansive conceptual fare.

“It’s actually kind of liberating,” Way said. “I’m writing lyrics simply about what the song’s telling me, instead of trying to shoehorn something into a story line. I’d say they all have their own little stories. Some of them are direct, real life things that happened to us or me. Some of them are fiction, [because] I didn’t want to lose that side. One of the things I really liked about Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge is that we took people on a journey with each video and each single, even though it was a concept record. The Black Parade didn’t do that. It stuck all the way through to this rigid vision up until the end, but this time I’m really excited about giving someone something new every time.”

hope you enjoyed!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. the song 'Death Before Disco' is going to stay on my sidebar for a while :)

Bi-racial.

2009-08-02T11:08:00.013-05:00

Hello,It is raining today so it's a lazy day, i went to the meeting hoping you know who was there, but he's sick and because our assembly is coming this Saturday, we have no meeting this Thursday and also the Sunday after the assembly, so i won't be seeing him for a while, which is kind of sad, but I'll get over it, in fact...I'm over it.

anyway, yesterday my mom's childhood friend's daughter who is now an adult named Porcha, did my hair last night, IT TOOK 3 & A HALF HOURS!

she put a relaxer in it, then she left conditioner in for about 30 minutes to soften it, styled it and i look FANTASTIC, I'm going to take pictures because I've never felt so beautiful, i can already see my "new beginnings" happening ("New beginning

s" is an in

side thing that only my family would get,LOL)

we watched the Fast And Furious 4 movie and The Mummy, which ho

nestly, was bad. like i always say; Sequels are horrible, ta

ke a look at Resident Evil 3 if you don't believe it.

the first Resident Evil was really cool, my head could not turn away, my eyes were glued, the 1st one was great, the 2nd one was okay, and the 3rd one just flat out crashed

after we watched the movies i was done, it took so long and it was frickin painful, i could not stop crying, my hair is naturally kinky, not as bad as nappy, but close, but i straighten it with the InStyler, so she had to brush with the tiniest comb in the history of combs so it got out every last one of my kinky curls, and while she was doing it, my hair was trying to curl back up (i hate my hair but then i love it.) now it's flat like a white person's hair, whenever i used to go into stores people would ask me or my mother "what race is she?" because i look white but my hair looks like a black person's hair, and she would tell them I'm wh

ite with a quarter black, less than a quarter Indian and a

quarter Spanish. and when i have my curls in, i look like i came straight out of Italy, i look so Italian with curls, and when i have it straight i look part Japanese, LOL, it's actually pretty cool because i love Japanese culture and even when i was little i always wanted to be Japanese.

Anyway, i feel good. I love what she did with it (i will take pictures) all that pain was definitely worth it.

i will be back later, I'm gonna go eat my cupcakes she bought me, love ya!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. if i was in a comic book; it would be Batman and i would love to be Harley, because i love Mr. J <3

LOL i had to put these in:

I am so rolling right now......hahahahhaha

Your Input.

2009-07-31T12:32:00.006-05:00

I have been praying for so long for my life to change for the better and i am happy to say

North Carolina is the best place i have ever been, I LOVE IT HERE! Jehovah answered my prayers.

the congregation i am in now has kids that are Jehovah's Witnesses in it that are there for the fact that they love Jehovah, not because their parents are pushing them to go, i found a friend named Clayton at a gathering and he likes everything i like right down to the T. His brother cracks me up so much, it's weird, he's 13 but when i speak to him; he sounds like someone in their 20s *needless to say; i like him.* He has 2 sisters who are really outspoken so they ask a lot of rude questions, and thats how we met; his youngest sister asked me something pretty rude and was sitting next to her and me and he sat up and told me that his sister is very rude and he's sorry for it, then asked her to leave and she did. It was so funny because, im actually used to rude little kids, so then we just started talking and i found out he's into manga and anime like me and likes all the bands i do (some of the bands he likes, i dont know of.) its nice to finally find someone who is into the same things i am.

Everyone in North Carolina is so nice, you cannot walk down the streets without people smiling at your from they're car, or if your in the car they'll smile at you from the streets, everyone here is nicer than in Texas, i love it, it's like a huge family, we have so many congregations for me to choose from, if i could have seen the future a long time ago, i would have gone years ago

i swear, this place is amazing, words cannot even begin to explain how much i love it here and how better my life has gotten.

...Isn't this paper clip the bomb?

i totally want one!

moving on>>>

i know that i dont like to read all about someones life, i like interesting questions and observations, so i thought to myself "you guys cannot be REALLY enjoying my blog, because you dont know me personally." so i decided that im going to make things interesting, very interesting.

by getting your opinions and input and also your outlook on life and death

.when someone has a disease or syndrome that you do not have, can you REALLY feel bad for them and understand them if you've never felt it?

.if your talking to someone and they tell you that they're child died, everyone could sypathise with that but could you know fully what they are going through, if you've never had someone as close as a child die?

.when your on the phone with telemarketers, have you ever thought about why they may be having this job? maybe out of desperation. do you empathize with them and realize that when people scream in their ears and slam the phone down, curse them out, make them feel worthless, that maybe they cant quit and it's their job, it's their way of an income to maybe keep food on the table for their family? have you ever thought about that?

if you haven't, you should.

next time they call, just politely say "im not interested, goodbye" and hang up, thats all.

dont mess with them and all that stuff that i used to think was funny, they are people with feelings, just like you and me, and i think we should treat them the way we would want to be treated if in that situation.

.does death scare you, does it anger you, or do you love it and embrace it?

let me know everyone, im really curious

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. watch TheJokerBlogs

Attack Of The Anorexic Mannequins!

2009-07-30T13:19:00.004-05:00

My other blogger buddy wrote a blog talking about how she went into a store in her mall and saw a dress that was really cute but then she noticed THE MANNEQUIN'S RIBS WERE STICKING OUT! what kind of crap is that! teenage girls are VERY impressionable and when they see that mannequins are now anorexic looking, that will go into their mind's subconsciously and they will start to view themselves as "fat"

i am so pissed off about this, i have seen the chest and boobs look anorexic, but i have NEVER seen ribs popping out

i wish i could go in that store and give them a piece of my mind

if your not outraged by this; you have problems.

soon those mannequins will be everywhere in every store, even adult stores

the children will go on diets and starve themselves and ruin themselves

that is why I'm freaking out on this matter.

this is what i have seen:

this is probably what she saw (picture it as a mannequin)

You think THIS is a sexy look?

...

THAT IS NOT SEXY!!!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

ALL JOKER FANS MUST WATCH THIS!..you WILL be blown away.

2009-07-29T16:54:00.007-05:00

ALL JOKER FANS MUST WATCH THIS!
it is the best tribute iv'e seen of the Joker, im addicted to this, it is called "TheJokerBlogs" on YouTube(click on the link, it will take you right to it), it's seriously amazing, the acting is dead-on. [the 1st may be over the top (maybe not) but he really gets into character in the 2nd one]

Part 1- Therapy Begins

Part 2- Arkham Bound

Part 3- Meet Steve

Part 4- A Dream Come True

Part 5- Hypnotized

Part 6- An Apple A Day

My Funny Valentine

April Fooled

Part 7- Artistic Merit

Part 8- BRB

................................................................................
[this is NOT him] The Dark Knight- Joker Interrogation Scene Spoof (this is friggin HILARIOUS!)

hope you loved it all like i did and he has more to come, so subscribe to him. hes so talented

here is all of his sites

.His Deviant Art

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Are you against Jehovah's Witnesses "JJones"? are you asking a question? what are you doing?

2009-07-29T09:47:00.010-05:00

well this goes out to "JJones":

you cannot have a say in that matter and neither can the court because no one has any idea why we do not do blood transfusions because no one can be bothered to do research; in case you do not know this, blood causes AIDS, and many other things, Jehovah knows whats best for us even if it may rescue us at first and look like a savior, in the end it will kill us.

You should really research Jehovah's Witnesses before you read sites that are anti- Jehovah's Witnesses.

The justice system doesn't understand that, they feel if we deny blood in such crucial circumstances; that we are ruining a chance for life, but we know full well what we are doing and all the horrible things that could happen when it comes to using other people's blood. That is why we listen to Jehovah when he says No Blood.

because he is saving us.

he is saving us. and if we shall die without the blood; he will resurrect us and make us healthy.

now, if you want to come at me with information regarding something like that; you need to understand it first.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Im back!

2009-07-28T16:48:00.004-05:00

this is just to let you all know im back to the internet and i am now in NC

i will post a full post later on because im quite busy

love you all.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. someone made that image of LynZ & Gee, isn't it beautiful, they released a pic of their baby Bandit, i will post it ASAP.

I'm Leaving TOMORROW Morning!

2009-07-22T10:24:00.001-05:00

Wish me luck!

...haha, I love The Joker.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Roxxie Returns From Slaying the Living Dead....she never died.

2009-07-03T17:07:00.000-05:00

IM BACK FROM KILLING ALL THOSE ZOMBIES!.....

have you all been thinking 'is Roxxie dead?'

hmm?

maybe yes? maybe no?

well, IM NOT!

anyways...

this is my first time being out of the house for 3 weeks, ive been lazy and my "condition" (i guess i could call it that.) has been bad

im now working on a teen mystery book, but more adult-ish than "teen" because when I started it, i was 10 years old, and i wrote it because my grandmother always liked my short stories so i decided to make a childrens mystery book but i cannot remember how children talk and think,so, i have to make it a teen/adult book, because i hate those ignorant cheesey "teen books" i want to bring something new to the table, i want this book to be mature, but not what your thinking, i mean "mature" by having the teenagers be like adults in a scense, i want them to be intelligant and not confused about themselves, and i want the mystery to not be a cheesey rip off from a movie that may have or may not have been cheesey, something that adults can read and enjoy also, not like "Twilight" no offence twilight lovers, i just think that movie is the worst vampire movie and got so big because of the teens in it.

moving along...

im going to move in 6 days, i know 6 days, can you believe it?!

and im so excited, i love airplane rides, ive been on about 7 airplanes through my life so far, and i loved every minute of it, after we go to North Carolina, we wont have internet for a while, and the public library is not our nieghbor with wifi :(

so...i wont be online for about...id say a week maybe.

but, once i get back online, i shall a promise right now to all those patient My Chemical Romance fans

*I Promise As Soon As I Am In North Carolina With Internet At My house, I Will Show Tons Of RARE My Chemical Romance Pictures.*

...there, i promised.

love you all

till next time.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. if you have the chance to watch Night At The Meuseum:Battle Of The Smithsonian, WHATCH IT, it was better than the first, MUCH better, i is now one of my favorite movies.

also, watch Slumdog Millionair, that movie was amazing, i LOVE it.

MY CELL PHONE INTERNET ISNT WORKING ANYMORE...this calls for DRASTIC MEASURES

2009-06-12T17:33:00.005-05:00

OH THE HORROR!
im so pissed off,my cellphone internet isn't working anymore >_< so I'm forced to just come to the library and use they're wifi,otherwise,i will lose the only sane thing about me that i treasure,My Mind!
and because of my Hypermobility Syndrome,its difficult to get to the library[that happens to be right down my street] so,you probably can imagine,I'm extremely frustrated.i mean,wouldn't you be?
yes,you would.
because what i have to go through as a 15 year old is very frustrating,because I'm 15 for crying out loud!
and I'm just not used to have to go through so much pain and not having any idea when its going to come to me and when its going to go away,it just is horrible,but i just think of people who have it WAY worse than me and it gets me through,sometimes not,because i know I'm always going to be a lonely person,no one wants to shop in the mall and go places with someone who has to be in a scooter....i was really hoping for a social life,but i guess I'm not meant to ever have one,that's okay,in 3 years i will be a legal adult,so i may be able to befriend adults better,i really wish my Internet friends were my friends in person,i always think,if i was to die today,would i be satisfied with the life i had,and i always have this thing where its like NO,i have not done the thing i was born to be,a singer [my passion],i have not met ANY or my inspirations like Gerard Way,Ray Toro,Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Mikey Way,all i can do is dream of meeting them and also fictional characters or dead people like L Lawliet,Batman,Willy Wonka,The Joker,William Shakespeare,you get the gist of it....there has been a lot i have not done because I'm only 15,if i was to die tomorrow,i would not be satisfied,not even close to satisfied.
but lets hope no one wants to take me out tomorrow,but you never know,there is so many heartless or crazy nutcases out there,i shall pray...
anyway,onto another subject...
cant wait to move,have new experience,meet nice people and jerks,its all going to happen,the good and the bad,i can only hope the bad wont be "that" bad.
trust me,it will.i can guarantee it.
anyways,i have sworn i will NEVER be,act,look like something i am not.i have seen and known so many fakes,it just disgusts me,id rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not.
if your an idiot and your pretending to be smart,face it,your a bit stupid,no one is perfect and no one ever will be.
except yourself for who you are.if your smart but you act stupid to fit in with a certain group of people,don't,show them how smart you are,and stand out.
we all have potential in us,whatever it may be,and i believe we should all use it to the fullest and spit on anyone who wants to change us or does not except us for who we are,or just walk away and get revenge in a successful way,show them that you can and will conquer the things you want to be that they told you,you will never be.
when i was little i used to think about what life would be like if we all lived in Halloween Town from The Nightmare Before Christmas [am i the only one?] things seem so easier in there,so interesting,so calming,but so scary,it'd be extraordinary,whenever i have to go through crap or I'm in the middle of it,i just start thinking of that,and this is absolutely crazy but i used to want to marry Jack Skeleton,yeah,i know,i was a bit strange for wanting to marry a skeleton,whatever,i grew up,got obsessions,but really all my obsessions are guys and they are all pretty much married,lol,so now i just look up to them and wish that i knew them,it'd be so cool if i could just sit down with all the people i want to meet all in one room and have coffee and/or tea with them,if i could ever do that,my life would be complete,but unfortunately that is never going to happen,ever.all i can do is dream like I've been doing for the past 3 years....
I've been craving Raspberries for the longest time,last time i had them was about a year ago,they are my favorite fruit,then Strawberries...I'm listening to Ozzy,he is such a good singer,something about him interests me,I'm not sure why,but he does,and Shannon cracks me up,they are so perfect for each other ^_^ and he was really good looking when he was young,big 80s hair and all,lol,....okay,there is a seriously overrated band that i used to like before they got "famous",sure you've heard of them,Hollywood Undead,i liked them for like 3 months before they got famous and became overrated,i now cannot stand them [no offense HU fans],same with Metro Station,I'm so sick of overrated bands who had talent but then all that fame goes to they're heads and they begin to really suck,one band that got highly overrated in 2009 but never let it effect them is Fall Out Boy,they're music is still great,but if they ever become like that,i will be so disappointing....another band i will always love is Sum 41,they're great.

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Coffee?

2009-06-10T12:20:00.000-05:00

haha im in such a good mood right now,ya know that famous goofy mood that every "normal" teenager has lately that makes them seem stupid and less unique.i have it.its funny because i always thought this feeling was some fake overrated thing that people use to make them sound interesting but i found out it CAN be Real.anyways im listening to Cars by Gary Numan @ 12AM & i really want to sit down,drink coffee and have a heart-to-heart conversation with Gerard Way,Ray Toro,L Lawliet,Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Mikey Way,Johnny Depp,The Joker,Tim Burton,Willy Wonka,Billy Corgan,Robert Smith,David Bowie,Billie Joe Armstrong,etc all together in the same room & 1 on 1 with each 1 of them...1 of my biggest dreams...i can dream..LET ME DREAM.

Blog Post Titles Are Overrated....

2009-06-08T17:57:00.006-05:00

Hello,
I'm back!
and better than ever.
well,as some of you know,I'm not that munch into going outside and living,but for the past 2 days,i have been going outside,soaking up the sun (notice my Twitter comments on the side),reading my Batman:ThrillKiller comic I'm in the middle of and occasionally listening to some MCR when I'm not reading,i never used to be into reading either,but my brother,Justin introduced me into manga and comic books,so I'm a bit new,Ive read a lot because it became an obsession,I'm mostly into comics because they are easier to get ahold of,oh and we found out what Tinkerbell's problem is,she is marking her territory.yeah,i know,its not right to pee on your owners,but we have her kittens+another kitty named Cookie AKA Oreo,who she does not like too much,put that all together and it explains why she is doing it,because i know she loves me,she is my daughter,and when she cant find me,she gets my mother,her second favorite person,we are going to call a vet to see what we can do to make her stop pissing on us every few months,so hopefully someone will help us with that,onto another subject...

right now I'm at the library and i see another unique person,and hes young,hes like,i don't know,maybe 14,and he stands out but not in a attention grabber way,just a unique way,its interesting to see,what?!
do you think I'm a creep,well I'm not,i just like to observe people and when i see someone who stands out,its like a big neon glow to them,in my mind,but its mostly for teens and preteens,because they are still in the process of finding themselves,so they dress,talk,act,et cetera like the people around them to fit in,so i love seeing difference,it just makes me smile

anyway,my brother just showed me this wonderful band,you should all listen to them,in fact let me put the videos here,they're name is Flobots,and I'm beginning to love them...
Flobots-Rise

also,listen to Handlebars by them.

i had a really odd dream,me and my sister were running from a psycho mass murderer,and he was holding a knife and he had blood all over his white shirt running down to his black jeans,and there was nothing around us,just blackness,and in the dream i ran into a wall and fell over,and i was holding my sister's hand while running,so she flung back to where i was,and we scrambled to get up and all i remember is getting up and running again non-stop into a crowd of the people he's hurt all stabbed up,blood oozing out of where he stabbed them,and i just woke up...it was really weird to me because it reminded me of another dream i had a while back where is was a apartment full of partying druggies,using drugs,smoking,making out,and some crazy woman with blood all over and messed up hair poured gasoline all over the whole building and the druggies were too high and drunk to notice,and she took one of they're cigarettes and threw it and burned the house up as well as herself because she was in it,and the windows were barred and she was screaming and laughing while she was holding on to the bars while i watched her flesh melt off of her and i was in a crowd of people and they all went inside to get burned,not to save anyone,they were all suicidal and they ran in screaming some even had kids,i tried to stop them but they just pushed me out of the way,and i watched it all burn and turn to ashes and i woke up,it was VERY disturbing.I don't know why i dream such grotesque stuff,but then i have nice dreams as well,just,i don't remember the majority of them.

anyhow,I'm going to go,bye!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Updates------sorry it took so long-----........please get a twitter,seriously,get one.

2009-06-05T12:20:00.003-05:00

Hi Everyone,
as you know,i have only been able to post from my cellphone and they have to be small....stupid tiny keypad.....well right now,i have conquered my goal of walking to the library that is right down my street,and that is how im able to post this,im using they're wifi and im on my laptop....i missed you so much my wonderful Diamond (Diamond is my laptops name...i know,its weird i named my laptop,but i just love it so much,how could i possibly leave it nameless...exactly,i couldnt.).....anyway so now i can let you all know whats up with me and this thing i call my life,if you want to know,read further.

I was reading a graphic novel by Neil Gaiman entitled Neverwhere
now if you see this in your local bookstore or library,you must pick it up and buy it,check it out,or read it right there on the spot,if you have time,like me.
this comic was so mind blowing and VERY unexpected,im very happy i decided to pick it up and read it,and in my opinion,Door,is so cool,she is my favorite character,anyway,if you have read it,in the process of reading it,or are going to read it,let me know....now,i have no idea why im getting so many visitors,i have such a boring life,but i guess you are all interested in my thoughts maybe....i really don't know,anyway,we shall continue....
[cover of Neverwhere]

im so glad i conquered me goal,im going to show "my knee Pain" who's boss,now im still praying i do not end up in a wheelchair,i would lose all self confidence,everything would be ruined for me,my kitty's kittens are doing wonderful,im so worried my kitty Tinkerbell wont be able to get help for her "problems" and my mom will get rid of her,i swear,things were supposed to go well because we are moving,but its starting to crumble down right in front of me,its like,i thought i was going to get a break when i finally decided to face reality and stop hiding in my fantasy world,but that's not what happened,reality is torturing me,breaking me down,when i feel im about to break down,i go to a part of the house that no one is in or outside,listen to music,think happy thoughts,and i get better,i noticed the music that makes me feel better the most is My Chemical Romance,Good Charlotte and Simple Plan,no joke.those are the artists i go to first on my laptop or mp3 player and i begin to think happy thoughts,and my mood changes,i really miss having coffee and any flavor tea with my grandmother,its just not the same to drink it without her,we would drink that stuff 24/7 and eat rommen noodles 24/7,that's right,im a momma's and grandma's girl,lol,anyway,sorry i haven't been able to blog too much,just to let you all know
IM ON TWITTER here is My Twitter add me,if you have one,or for Shinzui & Clo Get a Twitter,i miss talking to you two,im on there so much because its all i can do on my cell,im addicted,im on there like every 10 minutes,no joke,sometimes im always on,i just love to write random things on there,lol,and keep in touch with online buddies....k,so i really want to play Sims 3,everyone is saying it rules,and i want to see for myself,i also have been dieing to see the movies UP,Star Trek and Year One,everyone i have talked to said Star Trek was amazing and i think it will be too,even the preview got to me,so i seriously want to see that the most,and Frank from MCR said UP rocked,i already wanted to see it because it looks friggin hilarious,but now i want to see it even more to put my curiosity to sleep.

i want to put up the rare MCR pics,but im going to have to do it another time,sorry MCR fans
i love you,but it takes me usually 3 hours to put them up,and im now in the process of moving to North Carolina so im a bit busy but then not,its weird,but seriously,i have no life compared to other 15 year olds,but im cool with it,im used to it,i came from upstate New York for crying out loud,and im now in Oklahoma,its just expected to not have a life,lol,but maybe when i get to NC it will be better [i doubt it]...life hasn't given me successful surprises,i mean "successful" as in,it gives me wonderful surprises,but then they fail and shatter in front of me,so i don't expect much
anyway,right now im listening to The Hives,sitting next to my mother at the library,waiting for someone to get online on twitter,see that? other people have lives to live instead of sit around waiting for someone to get online,lol,but im cool with it,im just happy God has given me the gift or being able to produce wonderful poetry,ability to listen to music and create it,read,being able to be creative,stand out from any crowd because of my odd but unique hair,and the best gift of all,Life
im now listening to Fall Out Boy,that's right,i love me some FOB,i just got annoyed with them because my XBFF was obsessed with them,so i got EXTREMELY sick of them [shame on me.]
so uh,lets see,i want to read more Neil Gaiman books,because Neverwhere was simply amazing,and i could not put it down,i heard his best creation is The Sandman,i must read it

wow,i see a girl with black hair and a sunflower in her hair,she looks so beautiful and classy,this is going to sound weird,but i have my cell right here and i may take a picture of her,just because i rarely see unique looking beautiful girls around my age who are not posing to be emo...well,i couldn't get a photo of her,but trust me,she was beautiful,im in awe.i haven't seen that kind of classiness in a teen sense i was 7,i was walking down the street and back then teen girls were posing to be like Britney Spears,back when Britney and The Backstreet Boys were a fad,not emo,so it was still unique to me,and i appreciated that,it was such a difference to see someone stand out in a beautiful,classy way....

i miss the Sarasota, Florida library,it was so huge and had everything...this library is so teeny

when i look outside,im not sure why,but,i smile,or at least smile inside,i see so much when i look out the window or door,possibilities,goals being met,children walking for the first time,bands rocking out at they're concerts,fans having the time of they're lives,miracles happening,but then i frown and cry because i begin to see the lies behind it all,possibilities turning out to be impossible,goals being beaten but it was all just a cruel lie,children walking to school and getting kidnapped and/or raped, and the parents crying and grieving over the phone call they just got telling them they found they're kid in a ditch,river,etc dead watching the parents or siblings become suicidal or cutting themselves,bands and/or fans getting shot up by haters, seeing all the graves and grieving family,miracles turning out to be a big trick someone played on someone,and it hurt them so much because it was that person's everything,they commit suicide,then the person who played the trick having to carry around the guilt

i cant stop thinking this way,nothing is as beautiful as it seems,but yet,i will NEVER give up,i wont let controlling people destroy my Life just to give them the satisfaction of ruining me...
i may become week and breakdown,but i will never ruin it,ever.

[in case your wondering what my cell looks like,here you go]
"Samsung Gravity T459 Lime",look at that teeny QWERTY board,its so annoying >_<

well im going to go,i love you all,and don't you forget that,till next time
bye,catch you on twitter!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S.if you go down,on the left side of my blog page,you can see a long-ish box and the caption will say "My Twitter Updates" you can see what im writing on twitter all the time from there,but you cant talk to me unless you get a twitter,so get one please.

wow,a wheelchair?no Tinkerbell?....Grandma,i love you with all my heart.

2009-06-04T17:54:00.001-05:00

honestly,things are not going too good for me,you ask yourself,why?
well let me tell you...
im on my way into having to be in a wheelchair/scooter,seriously,im so scared,i couldnt walk to the library right down the street.it felt like my leg joints were shattering,because i have Hypermobility Syndrome if i was to be in a wheelchair,no one would ever look at me the same.im used to being able to stay in the back,id have that taken away,people would feel bad for me or whisper about me,i honestly think i will need it in a month,i pray i wont but i know i will,im not a strong person,and now my mother is telling me she wants to get rid of my daughter Tinkerbell because she has peed purposely on me and mom while we are in bed,but its not a daily thing,just every few months.do you think thats right?that cat is half my happiness,and cosidering all the crap i have to deal with.its just depressing.i wish my grandma was still around so i could feel like im back 2when me and her would drink any flavor of tea&coffee 24/7

Black Plague?.....idk...Clo,Shinzui,PrincessGeek,Amy,Dani,click comments,i left you all messages :)

2009-06-03T09:18:00.001-05:00

well right now im so bored,there is nothing on TV,and my life is just really boring right now,hopefully,when we move to NC,my life will get more exciting,im hoping to find a band who needs a lead singer,or,round up people who are nice and can play their instrument well,who also love music as a passion and not for the fame or money and create a band,or i may just continue my singing career on my own
who knows,only the future will tell...so,HOW ARE YOU ALL?
sense i cant comment you back,i will reply on my blog,go to this entry and the ones to come,click on comment,and all my replys should be there for you,that is the only way i can reply to you,and im sorry it has to be this way,but once i get the internet back on,i will reply to you how i normally do :)
i may even go over to my library and use they're wifi (if i can get over there)
okay,back to my thoughts....
what has happened with the swine-flu?
did it just end?
im not sure why,but,when i first heard about it,i thought ''Black Plague''...idk why...

still no internet :'(

2009-06-02T09:41:00.000-05:00

hello,as you all know,im typing this on my phones tiny little qwerty board and its very frusterating,LOL
but,the show must go on....
so,now im listening to The Cure,my 3rd favorite band,if you love too let me,oh now David Bowie,that guy rules,anyway,it is so boring without the internet....im now watching wife swap becaue its the only thing on,i will be posting a lot,because im so bored without my laptop,sorry i havent gotten back to you if you left a comment,i cant reply to you from my cell,im sorry :( i still love you though

-Yours Truly, Roxxie

She Will Pay For This....I Promise.

2009-06-02T05:19:00.000-05:00

EVERYONE WILL PAY.

you think you can just hurt me and walk away,NO!,you will all pay for this,if you cross me,i will not let you walk away scratch-free,you stabbed me in my back,HOW COULD YOU?,i thought we were closer than that,why are you always trying to hurt me?,how does it make you feel? do you hate me?,do you like seeing me hurt?
well now its time for you and all your friends to pay,if i have to hunt you down,i will.you dont just hurt me and just walk away,this is my warning to you and all your friends,watch your back,because you are now my prey and im hungry for REVENGE.

-Roxxie

im typing this from my cellphone....

2009-06-02T04:39:00.000-05:00

my internet is not working due to the company's mix up,sorry everyone.i will have it back on soon,till then,i will be typing from my phone with this tiny annoying keyboard....i hate tiny keyboards,my fingers want to run free across the keyboard,and they cant because there is hardly any room for them on this keypad

A new Obsession:MSI

2009-05-30T18:37:00.000-05:00

Hello,Roxxie here! (of course)
i have a new obsession for the band Mindless Self Indulgence [MSI]
[click on the name and it will take you to they're official myspace]
at first i was just curious of what Gerard's wife's band sounds like,not expecting that much sense they are not too popular,but let me tell you something,MSI is GOOD,better than good,more like OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!,yeah that's better.
they're music blows me away,it is such a creative rock/techno genre,and Jimmy [the lead singer] has an amazing voice,i watched videos of them Live,and they bring the whole friggin house down,this is one of the bands i have GOT to see live as soon as i turn 18 [when im allowed to go to concerts] on that list of mine,so far i only have:

My Chemical Romance
Green Day

& now

Mindless Self Indulgence

this band amazes me that they are not more popular,they are so amazing live,i really want to see them,and Lyn-Z can play,and that backbend she can do is so cool,there's no way i could ever do that,no way.and Jimmy has such a unique voice,the drummer chick is totally rockin it,and Steve [the guitarist] is excellent,very fast,the more obsessed i get about this band,the more they get a chance to make it to my top bands list MSI might make it to my top 4 list only they would make it my top 5 [like a normal person]....i wonder if they will make it,well i will let you all know....

am i the only one who LOVES this band?

and if you have no idea about them,watch this video,the first one i have seen of they'res,and second song i heard of they'res.
Mindless Self Indulgence-Shut Me Up
I havent seen a video like this EVER,its so creative,and chaotic.i LOVE it.

thats all for now,oh and if your anti-youtbe like me,go to DailyMotion.com they have videos and are WAY better than youtube :)
Enjoy Everyone!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

My Internet Twin!!!! named Luaren

2009-05-30T04:26:00.004-05:00

okay,i came across this blog by searching around called "I Dont Eat Bread",this girl looks exactly like me,and i will take pics of me and a video,but here is an old video of me [take away the makeup and you will see] here is the girl,her name is Lauren,watch the video she has in this post,i cant believe i finally found my twin,im so happy!,she is my English twin LOL,im American,Luaren.
anyways here is her link MY INTERNET TWIN!
and here is me [like i said,take away the makeup and picture me with long red hair]

im so happy i found my twin! on the internet too!

who thinks we look alike?

i will make a newer video of me with my hair curly not straightened [even though i straighten it] and no makeup so you can see better,im in total shock =)

by the way Luaren,i like your blog

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Welcome to the world Bandit Lee Way!

2009-05-28T05:50:00.006-05:00

Im so excited to post this....

GERARD ARTHUR WAY & LINDSEY ANN BALLATO (WAY) ARE NOW FIRST TIME PARENTS OF Bandit Lee Way AS OF 2:57 PM PST
CONGRATULATIONS YOU TWO!!!

im SO happy for you guys!
SOOOOO0000000000oooooooooooo HAPPY!
I cant wait to see the baby

i know the two of them will make wonderful parents,i don't know too much about Lindsey,but lately ive been trying to find out some things about her,and she doesn't seem like the mother type,but i think that will make it very interesting,there is even an interview of her talking about how she doesnt think shes the mother type,lol,but shes sweet and i think she'll do great,she is actually on my list of people i'd like to meet,and i know Gerard will make a wonderful father,he was born to be one,lol,odd name though....i recall Gerard in a interview saying he has always liked the name Bandit and he chuckled a little and Frank said something in the background...he stuck to that name lol,well,1 its unique and we all knew Lindsey and Gerard were going to give it a unique name and 2.who cares! its a baby,they are parents now! yay!

Lets CeLeBrAtE!!!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

whole lotta randomness......but its interesting randomness,LOL....Zombies?

2009-05-25T07:47:00.011-05:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
RUN THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
[sorry,i have no reason why i put that ZOMBIE thing there,i just....did.,but yeah,they are attacking,so ya know....run and stuff]
well right now im listening to Poker Face by Lady Gaga [she is on my playlist],i love her,shes so different
honestly,im just writing this because im so bored and tired but i cant fall asleep,so im going to take my random bored thoughts and place them on no other than my blog [that is what its for....right?]
well who cares,im going to do it even if its not,LOL,okay so who here likes George Michael,i love his gorgeous voice,just listening to it makes me melt,yes i know what happened with him,but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a beautiful voice and i shouldn't be able to listen to him,he was in a group called Wham!,they played Wake me up before you Go,Go.
sure you've heard that,well look up his song called "Last Christmas" and "A Different Corner"[all on my playlist],you will absolutely melt.i know i do,and im now listening to him,LOL
,okay,random thought just came to me,imagine if we could literally melt like butter...HAHA,that'd be hilarious,but odd,LOL,oh,now im listening to "Wake me up before you Go,Go." by George,i love his voice so much,its addictive,LOL,m'kay anyway my friend from Sodahead named Clo [love ya Clo] has customized her new blog,i am so proud of her,you did good Clo,i love it so much ^-^
oh,now im listening to Good Charlotte,the old stuff like "Little Things",i love this song :) the Madden twins are pretty cool,i follow Joel on twitter,haha,hes pretty interesting...which remind me,if you have a twitter and want to add me,im @ "RoxxieA" that's my username,yup....sorry if im getting very weirdly random,i haven't slept for hours,i just couldn't sleep last night :( so im a little ditsy and all that kind of weirdness,lol o_O now im listening to Sum 41,love this band,they are so meaningful,i cant wait or them to produce a new CD already,lol,that's funny,i started from Lady Gaga to George Michael to Good Charlotte to Sum 41,lol,that makes me laugh,anyways....has anyone ever wondered if everything they are doing is all imagination and really your crazy in a institution,im-oh Bowling For Soup! yay!,anyway,as i was saying,im thinking about that right now and i always have to wonder,am i imagining this? is this all some crazy world i have made?......makes you wonder huh?.........
anyway,stumble upon
[if you don't know what that is,then you wont understand this next part,there is no way i can explain what it does,just google it]
as i was saying,Stumble Upon has been calling me a Nerd lately,its so mean,and then my family started putting together things and they agree with it and then i googled the true meaning or Nerd and Geek,and i am both,im not sure if its a good thing,but i believe it is now because it means im smart,NERDS RULE!,lol,honestly though,im everything,i cant be put into a stereotype and i like it that way.
i wish i could fall asleep,im so tired X_X ......
do you think im weird?.....well,you shouldn't,because guess what?! YOUR WEIRD TOO,we ALL are! don't you just love that?,i know i do :)
HIGH SCHOOL NEVER ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[sorry,randomness...]
so,ive been hearing people say they hate YouTube,could that be truuuuuuuuuue?Yourtube!,hm...i actually hate it also,they have deleted everything,Anti-YouTube,who's with me?!
{no one?....}
you just made me sad :'(
not cool.
that's okay,id rather stand alone then be with the crowd,so yay!!!!
anyone got a good way of getting money?
i need some,lol

who likes the show called HOUSE M.D. ? I LOVE IT,Hugh Laurie is such a wonderful actor,and hes cute ^-^ i don't usually like guys like him but 1.he has an English accent [that's right,an English ACCENT girls.],2. look at those gorgeous blue eyes! and 3. he is a GREAT actor,hes just wonderful,if you don't think so,i could care less....i mean that,i don't need your two sense,k.

so sexy.....you have GOT to watch HOUSE and you will see how good of an actor he is
...

HOUSE M.D. is so Great!
im now listening to Matchbook Romance....gonna go now,bye
~Yours Truly, Roxxie

Leave!.......just go,otherwise,I Will.

2009-05-22T23:32:00.011-05:00

Hello Everyone,
im happy to announce im moving very far from here,i hate it here,and im finally moving,im so happy,words cannot even explain it,im happier than a little child in a candy shop,im happier than i think i have ever been,everything is finally falling together for me,all the crap that has happened in the past are starting to feel worth it to go through them because i now have so many wonderful things that have come out of the horrible things,im not like those kids who are always trying to make everyone feel sorry for them,i think that is really pathetic,im not afraid to say,im doing okay,better than okay,whats the word im looking for..........FANTASTIC!!!.....yeah that's it,fantastic.no one can take this away from me,my music,my family,my pets [including my daughter Tinkerbell's new kittens she birthed],are here for me,and i love them,i have had so much going on,because of moving,want to know where im moving.....The #8 Best Place To Live Within The States CHARLOTTE NORTH CAROLINA!!!
woohoo!
we are going to buy a condo that has 3 rooms and we are going to be getting another dog besides our cute chihuahua,Frida.
im also getting VERY sick of the Internet,i have seen so many fakes on here,its just starting to bum me out,its like people put out the famous saying "Be Yourself." but yet,they don't listen to it themselves and just forget what people want them to be or what they want to "fit" in with hypocrites.....for instance:i have been seeing A LOT of people calling themselves "emo" and as soon as i hear that,i know that is a true poser,the day you call yourself a stereotype whatever it may be,that is the day you will begin to tangle yourself in your lies and fake everything that you are not,lets say a kid likes dark clothes and listens to bands that society normally calls "emo",and people begin to call this kid emo,and one day he decides so go with it and call himself "emo" and begins to hang out with others who call themselves emo,and they ask if the kid "cuts himself" or is "depressed",and he does not,he just likes black and the music,he then will feel pressure to lie because he will feel like he wont be able to fit into the stereotype if he says no,because they will feel like he is not a typical "emo of society" so he lies,that is how it goes,or some do it for attention or so they have things good but want to fit in with the kids who don't so they say things like "i cut sometimes,im depressed" or if they don't want to sound fake they will say "im depressed,but at times im happy" if you see anyone call themselves a stereotype,they are fake,and are trying to live up to it

now why would someone want to categorize themselves and so exactly what society want them to do,no individuality,its so sad,and pisses me off so much to see everyone being taken over,losing everything that "was" special about them,if your reading this,and you call yourself a stereotype whether it be emo,goth,punk,prep,slut,gangster,metal head,rocker,geek,dork,nerd,jock,popular,girly,bully,loner,loser,et cetera.

i don't care what you say,we are everything,not one stereotype,and you are pathetic,and you make me sick,and i wish fakes like you would just fall off the earth,we don't need people like you,you will know if this message is meant for you,your conscience will tell you [if you still have one.]

look at the title,because that is from me to you.

...........................................

check out this My Chemical Romance flag,pretty cool huh.

and check out this My Chemical Romance comic book thing,i LOVE this.

well that's it for now,im pretty tired its late,lol,so im going to go,i will get into details next time,goodbye everyone,love ya!

~Yours Truly, Roxxie

P.S. The kittens are doing GREAT!,growing nice and strong,there will be tons of pics and videos up soon,i promise :)
and i NEVER make empty promises.

What To Expect Out Of Life

2009-05-22T19:41:00.000-05:00

Do You Know GREEN DAY?.....watch this....

2009-05-15T17:51:00.002-05:00